Christmas Writing Contest 2010

[ashauler]

The original inspiration:
http://www.cigarsmokers.com/threads/...SMOKER-s-STYLE!

It is time for the 4th annual Christmas Writing contest. Here are the rules:

1. Contest begins today.

2. Open to members in good standing with a minimum of 25 posts as of today. If you don't know if you're in good standing or not, enter anyway, someone will let you know if you don't qualify.

3. You can submit as many entries as you want. Entries are to be posted in this thread.

4. Entry can be in the form of a poem, song, haiku, limerick, or just a short story, and can be serious or humorous.

5. Deadlines are CST, I don't want to have to add and subtract.

6. Entry must be themed around cigarsmokers.com and Christmas.

7. Winners will be chosen by Poll of the membership.

8. As the host, I won't be playing, but I reserve the right to litter the thread with sarcastic comments.

Deadline to post your entry = Midnight CST, December 24, 2010.

Poll starts on Monday, December 27, 2010 and runs through Monday, January 3, 2011.

The prize will be a Perdomo logo desktop humidor complete with a selection of sticks from my cooler. Some of the cigars might even be smokeable, it is, after all, Christmas.

So come on.....get writing!!

[buzz]

Oh yeah suckas it is ON!!

-Buzz

[cigarsarge]

Nice gesture Jamie...

[badwhale]

Thanks for the contest Jamie. I'll conjure something up.

Will

[Smoked!]

Oh yeah suckas it is ON!!

-Buzz

I see Buzz is in the holiday spirit already.

Thanks for the contest, Jamie.

[cinda]

I'm dreaming of a smoking white Christmas
Just like the herfs I use to know
Where the cigar ash glistens,
and my wife finally listens
yet doesn't hear the UPS's squealing brakes in the snow

I'm dreaming of a smoking white Christmas
With every Camino Viejo Tabacos gift card I type

May the scotch make your day merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be remembered smoking padrons in your tidy whites .....

[buzz]

Merry Christmas yo!
Hope Santa brings good cigars.
This haiku was lame.

Don't worry, I'm just getting warmed up...

-Buzz

[buzz]

Sleigh bells ring, we ain’t listening,
too busy online, chatting bout Kirstie.
A hilarious cast,
we’re having a blast.
Hangin at cigarsmokers.com.

Newbies join, but then they don’t search,
instead post junk, and then become jerks.
We put them in check,
their egos get wrecked.
Welcome to cigarsmokers.com.

At some point we had a fishy member,
had a bunch of fake Cuban cigars.
He said “they’re not fake”
We said “yeah sure man”
Leave the circle cause you know it’s ours.

Meanwhile, in the cigars blogs,
Frank the freak, licking the frogs,
he wrote what he thought,
but he should have not,
now the FBI is watching him.

Had a crazy painter, name was Daysi,
started bad and then continued down,
made one of our member’s go goat-crazy,
now Paddy’s gone and Daysi ain’t around.

Worry not, there’ll be more fun,
some newbie, will get outdone,
we’ll laugh during chat,
at some poor asshat,
Smokin at cigarsmokers.com.

Smokin at cigarsmokers.com!

Yes, I know that “listening” and “Kirstie” don’t rhyme, but they both have the letters i, s, t, and e - so it counts.

-Buzz

[cinda]

I like it buzz good job!

[ashauler]

Good stuff!!

[MemphisFred]

Buzz, you've definetly got the talent. Good Job buddy

[MrPlatypus]

Yep, I think Buzz pretty much summed this place up nicely. Unfortunately, I will never be able to listen to "Winter Wonderland" quite the same way again!

[ashauler]

Bumpity....bump, bump. Getting closer.

[buzz]

Mark can't write haiku's,
too busy cleaning diapers
and breastfeeding too.

There once was a man named Will,
for Christmas he wanted a thrill.
He hustled downtown,
got an evening gown,
to the bar then to show off his skill.

Speling ken bee tuff,
ezpeshally fore thu rat,
its ok thow Gregg.

Dan drinks girly drinks,
with umbrellas and pink ice,
man up for Christmas!

Another whose name was Miguel,
for Christmas thought lights would be swell,
Went up on the roof,
with 120 proof,
and then from the ladder he fell.

Adam is dainty,
he smokes with his pinky out,
and so does Nelson.

Merry Christmas!

-Buzz

[Lopaka]

Since this will be me soon, I thought I would post this. I know it doesn't follow the rules. I don't expect to win.

'

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE,
MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY,
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO,
IN THIS HOME, DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES,
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT,
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR,
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED,
A TRUE AMERICAN SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO,
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED.

I REALISED THE FAMILIES,
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS,
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE,
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM,
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER,
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE,
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT,
A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES,
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED,
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL,
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED,
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE,
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR,
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT"

[ashauler]

C'mon, you can't win if you don't enter!! I promise, no DVD's in the prize.

[buzz]

C'mon, you can't win if you don't enter!! I promise, no DVD's in the prize.

I tried to provoke some more participants but I guess I should have been more direct:

I officially call Christmas Castle on Mark, Will, Gregg, Dan, Miguel, Adam, and Nelson.

That's right, that just happened.

-Buzz

[ashauler]

I tried to provoke some more participants but I guess I should have been more direct:

I officially call Christmas Castle on Mark, Will, Gregg, Dan, Miguel, Adam, and Nelson.

That's right, that just happened.

-Buzz

Deadling is midnight cst this Friday............

[EGQ]

While this may not be the most appropriate place for this, I wanted to share the family holiday card with you folks... It is two-sided, so you'll have to scroll a bit...


And the flip side...


They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I know that estimate isn't even close. Grace turns 2 this week, and being her father has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done.

To all of you in the "circle" -- happy holidays and all the best to you and your loved ones.

[ashauler]

Amazing.......I think it fits in just fine right where it is.

Merry Christmas to you and yours, sir!!