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Thread: 2013 Christmas writing contest

  1. #1
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    Default 2013 Christmas writing contest

    Yep, it's back. Take a look at the link below and submit your entries in this thread. Have fun!!

    The original inspiration:
    http://www.cigarsmokers.com/threads/...SMOKER-s-STYLE!

    1. Contest begins today.

    2. Open to members in good standing. If you don't know if you're in good standing or not, enter anyway, someone will let you know.

    3. You can submit as many entries as you want. Entries are to be posted in this thread.

    4. Entry can be in the form of a poem, song, haiku, limerick, or just a short story, and can be serious or humorous. You can make your own lyrics to classic Christmas songs or whatever you want.

    5. Entry must be themed around the Christmas season and cigarsmokers.com.

    6. Deadlines are CST.

    7. Winners will be chosen by Poll of the membership.

    8. As the host, I won't be playing, but I reserve the right to litter the thread with sarcastic comments. Particularly witty and caustic comments will head towards all haiku's submitted.

    Deadline to post your entry = Midnight CST, December 24, 2013.

    Poll starts on Monday, December 30, 2013 and runs through Monday, January 6, 2014.

    The winner will receive some very tasty smokes from the bottom left corner of my coolerdor.

    Good luck!!

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashauler View Post
    The winner will receive some very tasty smokes from the bottom left corner of my coolerdor.
    You told me that's where you keep your Ron Mexicos!

    Thanks for the contest. I'll try an piece something together.
    The powers that be might take it all away
    Together we burn, together we burn away

    Uncle Tupelo

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    Default

    Really, there isn't a single Ron Mexico anywhere in the cooler, I promise.
    I can't believe that buzz hasn't submitted any haiku's yet.

  4. #4
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    I started something earlier today - but got distracted. Damned work...

    I'm glad to see this thread resurrected. Let's see some creativity!

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    Default It ain't all that hard to do

    Lighters ping
    below a smoke ring
    At the herf
    kingbeefy is dirty dancing
    A secret delight
    and bad dreams tonight
    Christmas in cigarsmokers land

    Over there, in the corner
    covered in, body armour
    Eville was wrong
    Fordraptorfiend banged a gong
    Christmas in cigarsmokers land!

    Last edited by ashauler; 12-20-2013 at 04:45 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashauler View Post
    Lighters ping
    below a smoke ring
    At the herf
    kingbeefy is dirty dancing
    A secret delight
    and bad dreams tonight
    Christmas in cigarsmokers land












    I am honored to make a cameo in your poetry.

    I've been thinking about this, I'll go to the bathroom and get something down on paper later.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kingbeefy View Post
    I am honored to make a cameo in your poetry.

    I've been thinking about this, I'll go to the bathroom and get something down on paper later.
    I'm sure it'll be the most insightful thing you've written in decades.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashauler View Post
    I'm sure it'll be the most insightful thing you've written in decades.
    Well, you were correct. Please see the next post for some of my best work ever.

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    Twas the night before Christmas and all through the internet
    Not a creature was stirring, not even a mangy rat
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
    In hopes that St. Beefy soon would be there

    The newbies were nestled all snug in their bed
    While visions of Black n Milds danced in their heads
    Greek Titan in her ‘kerchief, badwhale in his cap
    Had just settled down to spoon for a long sinner’s nap

    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
    BW sprang from GT’s warm clutch to see what was the matter
    Away to the window he flew like a flash
    Tore open the shutter and threw up the sash

    The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
    Gave the lustre of mid-day to the objects below
    When what to badwhale’s eyes should appear
    But a Milli Vanilli themed sleigh, and eight tiny Blame it on the Reindeer

    With a totally badass driver, so lean, so sexy
    He knew in a moment it must be St. Beefy
    In one hand a Pete Johnson taint rolled custom
    His other hand holding his own petite Pete Johnson

    Yelling swear words, bumping into trees
    Pissing off the sleigh into the streets
    Landing on the roof with a violent clunk
    It was clear on this night St. Beef was drunk

    After breaking wind in the chimney and burning his ass
    He’s now safe inside and humping the cat
    Throwing down milk and cookies, throwing up in the plants
    He passes out on the gifts and shits his pants

    For GT and BW it’s a Christmas wish come true
    Something all cigar smokers dream of the whole year through
    They hug each other and dance with glee
    For kingbeefy is passed out drunk beneath their tree.

    (drop the mic, bitches!)

    Merry Christmas to all cigar smokers, and for two specific cigar smokers it will be a very good night!

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    LMAO!

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGreekTitan View Post
    LMAO!
    So, whatcha doing for Christmas?
    The powers that be might take it all away
    Together we burn, together we burn away

    Uncle Tupelo

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    Thanks for the time machine tribute and the contest, Jamie. I love what I am seeing so far.


    Christmas, Christmas, oh beautiful Christmas-
    Fuck, is it
    already that time again ?
    Mama said a lot of things and be thankful was the one she never minded saying twice

    --Drive-By Truckers

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    Nice to see you, James!!! Merry Christmas!!!
    The powers that be might take it all away
    Together we burn, together we burn away

    Uncle Tupelo

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    Read in the cadence of "'Twas the night before Christmas"




    Merry
    Christmas
    to all and to all a
    good night. While Buzz is
    biking and ashaulers snarling,
    Badwhale is writing, and Cinda is smiling.
    Ggiese is thinking 'bout newbs selling smokes,
    and CC is ready to give them a choke. Kevin is
    nearby, about to pounce, and Beefy is drinking liquor,
    ounce after ounce. Captain blues is hunting up north for
    some food, while Mangy is working on his arsenal of doom.
    Hefty is sitting by his fire and wife, while Roham is wondering, what's
    the meaning of life? SLCRaiders just popped back in, while illilli is pondering never
    leaving again. SAWB is cruising, and bowhunters snoozing. Sailor is cooking some food
    that looks great. This poem's almost finished, I bet you can't wait. Craig is contemplating,
    dman is fighting. What we should all be doing now is drinking and smoking.
    Raise a glass, and have a drink.
    Light up a smoke, but remember
    and think. Smokers is, the
    place for us all. Posts
    and blogs, let's all have
    a ball. Grab your
    smoke, and grab
    your light. Merry
    Christmas to all
    And to All a
    Good Night!

  15. #15
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    Nice Xmas tree!!!
    The powers that be might take it all away
    Together we burn, together we burn away

    Uncle Tupelo

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    Swisher Sweet;
    Smoke Blows.
    Fish or Meat;
    Nose Knows.
    Opus X;
    Nice To Light.
    Like Sex;
    Not Tonight!

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    Nice stuff!!

  18. #18
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    Smile

    All very good stuff...and It's nice to be remembered ...






    http://www.cmt.com/videos/eric-churc...le-smoke.jhtml?

    "Do this...go to Google and type in "Dumbass that can't take a hint"...notice the picture of a big feller in his Moms kitchen with a can of Wannabe RockStar on his man boob...Hey, that's you!" TheGreekTitan





    May God grant us the wisdom to discover right, the will to


    choose it, and the strength


    to make it endure










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    Deadline is tonight at midnight CST......

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGreekTitan View Post
    Read in the cadence of "'Twas the night before Christmas"




    Merry
    Christmas
    to all and to all a
    good night. While Buzz is
    biking and ashaulers snarling,
    Badwhale is writing, and Cinda is smiling.
    Ggiese is thinking 'bout newbs selling smokes,
    and CC is ready to give them a choke. Kevin is
    nearby, about to pounce, and Beefy is drinking liquor,
    ounce after ounce. Captain blues is hunting up north for
    some food, while Mangy is working on his arsenal of doom.
    Hefty is sitting by his fire and wife, while Roham is wondering, what's
    the meaning of life? SLCRaiders just popped back in, while illilli is pondering never
    leaving again. SAWB is cruising, and bowhunters snoozing. Sailor is cooking some food
    that looks great. This poem's almost finished, I bet you can't wait. Craig is contemplating,
    dman is fighting. What we should all be doing now is drinking and smoking.
    Raise a glass, and have a drink.
    Light up a smoke, but remember
    and think. Smokers is, the
    place for us all. Posts
    and blogs, let's all have
    a ball. Grab your
    smoke, and grab
    your light. Merry
    Christmas to all
    And to All a
    Good Night!
    Dulce- creative to the core!
    Mama said a lot of things and be thankful was the one she never minded saying twice

    --Drive-By Truckers

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