Cigarsmokers Fantasy Football 2014 sign-up and rules

[ashauler]

Ugg I dont know which people here are matched to which teams. Can I get a list or something lol

I'll add the user name to the standing's table.

[ashauler]

The payout structure needs to be determined. There is a message on the league board.

[buzz]

So, uh... I figured out how to add and remove players and I saw how it changes my "projected points" for the week against [insert name of loser here]. However, I have not yet figured out what changes need to be made in order to bring my points up enough to remove my underdog status. Which really doesn't matter because I'll win either way.

So whilst wandering around the amazingly complex Yahoo FFL interwebs I've decided that I'll just be instituting my regular random clicking coaching style unless someone wants to enlighten me on what the heck these are:

Fan Pts -- These don't seem to have any correlation to "Proj Pts". I believe Proj Pts are more important and I think Fan Pts must just be a random number meant to confuse me. If so, the system is working quite well.

% Start -- I am not sure if this is A) the percentage of time this player starts a game, B) the percentage of FFL players who start this player on their team, or C) the amount of effort the player puts into the start of the game

% Owned -- I think higher is better here, but then again when someone "owns" you it is generally a bad thing... so am I to assume a player with 0% owner status means they are free to be awesome, have no debt, and have not once ever succumbed to a prank?

Rankings (Proj and Actual) -- Just for clarification here, and knowing that football scoring is done differently than golf... A player with a Ranking of, say, 9 is going to be better than one with a ranking of 2,264... right? And if a player has a Proj Ranking of 9 but an Actual ranking of 4,523 he is likely having a bad season due to, oh I don't know... a domestic violence issue or something, right? And then on the flip side if someone has a Proj ranking of 9,000 and an Actual of 2 he's the golden pony I should be putting the saddle on (metaphorically speaking of course), right?

TE -- This is tight end I assume. I don't seem to have any good TE's. Is there not a way I can convince my backup QB to fill in and let my TE hand out gatorade?

DEF -- OK, so I won't tell you how long it took me to figure out that "Kansas City" was not a human being occupying the DEF position on the field. Apparently, this is a team within a team and somehow it gives me points. Not sure how I can have an entire team on my team, nor do I understand how I can have a player on my team who is also on a team that is also on my team but well, you know... whateves. I saw the movie, umm... uh shoot I forget the name of it now, it was the one with that actor that has dreams within dreams within dreams, etc. etc.

And finally, in closing, I will be winning again this week and securing the #1 spot in the league.


You're welcome.

[kingbeefy]

Buzz, that was a very enjoyable read. Also, it seems like you have this FFL thing licked.

[Eville]

[Eville]

Well, I had a pretty good night. Luck has proven himself to be a beast yet again with 32.30 points before they pulled him to let Hasselbeck play the last quarter. I wish they would have let him stay in.

[ashauler]

Well, I had a pretty good night. Luck has proven himself to be a beast yet again with 32.30 points before they pulled him to let Hasselbeck play the last quarter. I wish they would have let him stay in.

No shit, Luck is killing it.
I need at least 20 yds from Forte to get the win this week......fingers crossed he doesn't stub his fuckin' toe on the first play from scrimmage.

[DanB6177]

No shit, Luck is killing it.
I need at least 2 yds from Forte to get the win this week......fingers crossed he doesn't stub his fuckin' toe on the first play from scrimmage.

I heard he has the flu

Eddie Lacy on the block!!!!

[buzz]

So... I won again which is no surprise. No big deal. Nothing more really to say about it. I won. Period. It happens a lot. Whateves. Get over it or deal with it... either way get used to it. I just want to take a moment for a quick shout-out to my players and my assistant coaches, and of course my fans for their support. Oh and thanks to my DEF position, which was some team I can't remember now -- but they were a team within my team and I think they gave me some points somehow. No idea how, but again, I won -- so whateves.

Now apparently I have some great footballer on my team, named Jamaal. Umm, Jamaal... Jamaal... (8 minutes trying to find my roster on Yahoo's overly complex website layout)... Charles. Yep that's it, Jamaal Charles. He plays for... (8 minutes more) uh, forget it, whatever. He plays football. Now Jamie sent me multiple PMs begging me to trade him Jamaal*. I of course refused because, well, I guess I'm just used to telling Jamie "no" in PMs. Well, if I'm understanding Yahoo's site here correctly, Jamaal isn't playing football this year. He gave me 0.00 points and has (or had?) a 25% start (whatever that is). Somehow I knew Jamaal would acquire 0.00 points this week so I benched him straight up in an effort to teach him a lesson.

* May or may not have actually happened, I get so many PMs it's hard to keep track.

Unfortunately the lesson hasn't been learned yet, as next week he is listed as "questionable" because of an ankle or a toe or something. Football players, sheesh. They can't play both offense and defense, they take a 5 minute break between every 10-second play, they huff oxygen on the sidelines, and they injure themselves during celebrations. I mean come on. Football would be better if it was more like hockey.

Next week pretty much all of my players are on a Bye Week, and I'm thinking I may just leave things as-is to give you guys a chance. I'm not sure who I am playing next but I'll go ahead and apologize now for the tremendous beating you will receive. Maybe I should go ahead and make a bunch of moves so that when I win you won't feel so bad (it will be like I really had to try). First move I'll make is to bench my TE and replace him with the trombone player from the marching band.

Oh, and if I ever figure out how the heck you guys are able to post "smack talk" on the Yahoo site I'll respond to your nonsense there. Until then, I'll post over here.

[DanB6177]

So, uh... I figured out how to add and remove players and I saw how it changes my "projected points" for the week against [insert name of loser here]. However, I have not yet figured out what changes need to be made in order to bring my points up enough to remove my underdog status. Which really doesn't matter because I'll win either way.

So whilst wandering around the amazingly complex Yahoo FFL interwebs I've decided that I'll just be instituting my regular random clicking coaching style unless someone wants to enlighten me on what the heck these are:

Fan Pts -- These don't seem to have any correlation to "Proj Pts". I believe Proj Pts are more important and I think Fan Pts must just be a random number meant to confuse me. If so, the system is working quite well.

% Start -- I am not sure if this is A) the percentage of time this player starts a game, B) the percentage of FFL players who start this player on their team, or C) the amount of effort the player puts into the start of the game

% Owned -- I think higher is better here, but then again when someone "owns" you it is generally a bad thing... so am I to assume a player with 0% owner status means they are free to be awesome, have no debt, and have not once ever succumbed to a prank?

Rankings (Proj and Actual) -- Just for clarification here, and knowing that football scoring is done differently than golf... A player with a Ranking of, say, 9 is going to be better than one with a ranking of 2,264... right? And if a player has a Proj Ranking of 9 but an Actual ranking of 4,523 he is likely having a bad season due to, oh I don't know... a domestic violence issue or something, right? And then on the flip side if someone has a Proj ranking of 9,000 and an Actual of 2 he's the golden pony I should be putting the saddle on (metaphorically speaking of course), right?

TE -- This is tight end I assume. I don't seem to have any good TE's. Is there not a way I can convince my backup QB to fill in and let my TE hand out gatorade?

DEF -- OK, so I won't tell you how long it took me to figure out that "Kansas City" was not a human being occupying the DEF position on the field. Apparently, this is a team within a team and somehow it gives me points. Not sure how I can have an entire team on my team, nor do I understand how I can have a player on my team who is also on a team that is also on my team but well, you know... whateves. I saw the movie, umm... uh shoot I forget the name of it now, it was the one with that actor that has dreams within dreams within dreams, etc. etc.

And finally, in closing, I will be winning again this week and securing the #1 spot in the league.


You're welcome.

I foresaw your charles problem and immediately picked up Knile Davis and benched him so that nobody could use him to destroy their opponent.It appears my evil little plan has worked

[ashauler]

rank	team	record	points for	points against	league pick 'em
1	goallllllllll	3-0	346.58	231.34	3. (5-7)
2	the buzzbombers	2-1	294.90	269.50	t1. (7-5)
3	the mighty brentaurs	2-1	282.98	290.32	t6. (1-3)
4	perro enojado	2-1	273.68	271.24	t1. (7-5)
5	k-town megatrons	1-2	281.32	329.90	8. (0-0)
6	smoke 'em	1-2	261.86	275.94	t4. (4-4)
7	smokin' titans	1-2	252.92	244.56	t4. (4-4)
8	cigar city tabaneros	0-3	209.32	290.76	t6 (1-11)

[kingbeefy]

[buzz]

Footage of KB's team:

[kingbeefy]

Footage of KB's team:

Buzz brings the lulz, both on the forum and on the fantasy field. :)

[ashauler]

Bye week, yay.

[Eville]

This could be my last chance to say it, so: YEAHH STILL UNDEFEATED WOOOOOO!

[buzz]

Jamaal (8 minutes later) Charles better represent tomorrow... things are not looking so good this week since two of my wide receivers went out partying with my kicker Saturday night and spent way too much time Kareoke-ing it up.

Thanks a ton, J. Maclin, for your incredible 9 yards and associated 0.9 points. [rolling eyes]

Footage of J. Maclin last night:



(I really wish he had been home instead reading "How to Catch a Football and Run into the End Zone" by K. Benjamin, WR on the Smoke 'Em team)

[Eville]

[ashauler]

That's usually how it works. Luck is certainly being a consistent beast for you at the moment. It's a long season though.

[ashauler]

Holyt shit was that an ass-whoopin' the Pat's got last night! Takes the sting out of my FFL loss for certain.
Gonna be a stellar couple of days in KC. If the Royals can manage to beat the A's tonight, the city will be rockin'!