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Thread: Religious joke WATCH OUT!

  1. #1
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    Default Religious joke WATCH OUT!

    SQUIRRELS GET RELIGION

    There were five houses of religion in Pine Grove, Pennsylvania:

    The Presbyterian Church,
    The Baptist Church ,
    The Methodist Church ,
    The Catholic Church and
    The Jewish Synagogue.

    Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels (not rats from the old grain company, we'll talk about those another time).

    One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined tobe there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

    In The Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week

    The Lutheran Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

    But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.
    Now they only see them on Christmas , Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.

    Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.
    TBSCigars - "On Holiday"
    Grammar - It's the difference between knowing your crap and knowing you're crap.

  2. #2
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    LOL

    Thanks CC, I really needed a laugh this morning and all the jokes you posted did the trick!
    It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll.
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul.

    ***William Ernest Henley***

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by CoventryCat86 View Post
    SQUIRRELS GET RELIGION

    There were five houses of religion in Pine Grove, Pennsylvania:

    The Presbyterian Church,
    The Baptist Church ,
    The Methodist Church ,
    The Catholic Church and
    The Jewish Synagogue.

    Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels (not rats from the old grain company, we'll talk about those another time).

    One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined tobe there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

    In The Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week

    The Lutheran Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

    But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.
    Now they only see them on Christmas , Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.

    Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.
    Yeah, the Methodist / Lutheran churches here would just call it small game season.. Problem solved.
    The powers that be might take it all away
    Together we burn, together we burn away

    Uncle Tupelo

  4. #4
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    LOL So true!






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    "Do this...go to Google and type in "Dumbass that can't take a hint"...notice the picture of a big feller in his Moms kitchen with a can of Wannabe RockStar on his man boob...Hey, that's you!" TheGreekTitan





    May God grant us the wisdom to discover right, the will to


    choose it, and the strength


    to make it endure










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