ATM Procedure

[Roham]

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing
new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash
without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their
accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have
been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
> MALE PROCEDURES
> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
> 2. Put down your car window.
> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
> 6. Put window up.
> 7. Drive off.
> FEMALE PROCEDURE
> 1. Drive up to cash machine.
> 2. Reverse and back up the required distance to align car window with
the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car. 8. Insert card.
> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page. 11. Enter PIN.
> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17.
Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup.
> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
> 21. Retrieve card.
> 22. Re-empty handbag, locate cardholder, and place card into the slot
provided. 23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irritated
male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull
off.
> 25. Redial person on cell phone.
> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
> 27. Release Parking Brake

[labmonkey]

they don't need directions for that...it's pure instinct......

I was behind that woman yesterday!

[cigarsarge]

That's exactly the way my wife acts.