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Thread: Dear Abby

  1. #1

    Default Dear Abby

    Dear Abby,

    I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed
    as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my
    sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My
    father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
    marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who
    are prostitutes in Dallas.

    I have two brothers: one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence
    at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother
    is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his
    three children.

    I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
    Longview. She is a part time "working girl." All things considered, my
    problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into
    the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.


    Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for
    President?


    Signed,

    Worried About My Reputation
    GO AHEAD PUNK MAKE MY DAY

  2. #2

  3. #3
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    Default



    Oh man, barry's not going to like this one.

    TBSCigars - "On Holiday"
    Grammar - It's the difference between knowing your crap and knowing you're crap.

  4. #4
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    Heart of Big Blue Country! Lexington KY
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    Default

    That's a good one!
    "Frankenstien never scared me. Marsupials do, because they’re fast." - Kevin Pollak as Christopher Walken

  5. #5

    Default

    That was amazing. AWESOME joke!!
    Wanna-be beach bum.

    “Indecision may or may not be my problem.”
    “Searching is half the fun: life is much more manageable when thought of as a scavenger hunt as opposed to a surprise party.”
    - A VERY wise man from Mississippi


    "And shepherds we shall be, for thee my lord, for thee..."

  6. #6
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    TheNakedGun returns today which means it's fitting to top this thread EIGHT years later.

    TBSCigars - "On Holiday"
    Grammar - It's the difference between knowing your crap and knowing you're crap.

  7. #7
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    New England-GO Red Sox's!
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TheNakedGun View Post
    Dear Abby,

    I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed
    as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my
    sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My
    father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
    marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who
    are prostitutes in Dallas.

    I have two brothers: one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence
    at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother
    is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his
    three children.

    I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
    Longview. She is a part time "working girl." All things considered, my
    problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into
    the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.


    Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for
    President?


    Signed,

    Worried About My Reputation
    Ok I know the rules....I have said that to myself 10 times. Its really killing me you know but wow wow wow 2007 to 2017 what a difference a decade makes.






    http://www.cmt.com/videos/eric-churc...le-smoke.jhtml?

    "Do this...go to Google and type in "Dumbass that can't take a hint"...notice the picture of a big feller in his Moms kitchen with a can of Wannabe RockStar on his man boob...Hey, that's you!" TheGreekTitan





    May God grant us the wisdom to discover right, the will to


    choose it, and the strength


    to make it endure










  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by cinda View Post
    Ok I know the rules....I have said that to myself 10 times. Its really killing me you know but wow wow wow 2007 to 2017 what a difference a decade makes.
    If only she'd not used that private email server..........

    TBSCigars - "On Holiday"
    Grammar - It's the difference between knowing your crap and knowing you're crap.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    Precipitously close to disaster.
    Posts
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    Default

    Oh Bill...


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