WTF - Kevin7 made Santa's list???
Well, well, well. What do I have here? Who’s next on Santa’s list? Are fucking kidding me? How the hell did Kevin7 make my list? The world has completely gone to shit if I have to deliver that knuckle dragger some primo cigars. Candy yes, but Kevin7???
Kevin, no offense, I think you’re hilarious. I laugh at your comments when that old bag Mrs. Claus goes to be bed, lest she think I have no decency. Good stuff really, but good enough for Santa’s list? What will the world think? I suppose that you do have a few redeeming qualities. My elves have done quite a bit of research on you. Luckily for me, some new SOB had to summarize the info for me, ‘cause I’m sure as shit too lazy to do it. Damn this is going to be a lengthy discourse.
So, let’s wade right into the shit and see what kind of boy you’ve been this year
You are part of the “welcoming committee” here at Cigarsmokers.com. Let’s see how you’ve performed in this role:
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again toe licker talks out his ass. Fuck off and die douchebag
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Fuck off and leave you retarded idiot. ( I was gonna say cunt but that would be not nice LOL)
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Nothing has changed in my eyes,you still smell like an asshat
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Dont let the door hit you in the cunt on the way out princess
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And people still wonder why I hate fucking retarded newbies.
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Im one of the nicer fuckers here
Ok, so that was so-so. But my report says that you also give some spot-on advice. Let’s see, oh yes, here are some examples of your advice:
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i take the cello off but triple wrap them in commercial grade 8 mil polyethylene so they do not marry.i am considering using argon gas in my humidors to keep bacteria and such out. Radiation treatment got me in trouble with homeland securita so that is a no-go
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Bout time you got a job you slackass hippie
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If you are dirt poor get a better job. Cigars are a luxury
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Meth manufacturing is where it's at now man. People are unemployed and will trade you some cool possessions for rocks ,just be sure to use protection if you are trading out services from housewives
Your advice wasn’t too bad. Good work Kevin7. Let’s see here…It says that you are capable of making accurate observations like no one’s business. Here are a few gems:
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Hes got a stumpbroke steer
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Man them sophisticated retards at puff would eat these up.
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You are better than a 1/2 columbo1/2 Jesus with a phd
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Hey George one does not get to be 3 rd shift manager at Hardees by sitting around all day smoking dope and masturbating
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Except Badwhale,he's a buttpirate
I would say that you’re pretty fucking observant. I'm not sure if those last two quotes go together or not, but I digress. Guess I may have been wrong about you Kevin7. Maybe you do deserve some JdN’s & ETdB’s to go with the Maduritos & Nica Libre’s that you enjoy. The last notation here is that you are extremely giving of yourself:
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gEorge you can lick my big hairy ass
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Um I don't think anybody is gonna spank you for being bad but I will beat you with a shovel if you want LOL
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When you fags are done thumping that dead horse I might slide in and slip it the big dick
Okay, so you’re almost too giving of yourself. But at least George does like to lick your hairy ass & the horse was already dead. *Note to self: Do not bring any sick or wounded reindeer that Kevin7 might be able to catch*
So Kevin, it seems I may have misjudged you. I might slide by and slip my big dick down your chimney if I have some extra time this holiday season and if I do, what can I bring you? Somehow my elves have missed recording your beverage of choice, but I see that you’re all set with your 7 lb’s of Swiss Miss; otherwise I would send some of Mr. Jerry’s coffee your way. I might have some old brown label Don Kiki’s & La Herencia Cubana’s laying around. I’ll dig them out of the cat’s litter box and box them up with some Acid’s for you. It’s the least I can do. After all, amazingly you have been a fairly good boy this year. I can hardly believe it myself. I need a drink after saying that. Get back to me soon Kevin7, before my elves uncover more dirt on you.
Ho Ho Ho!!!
