Adventures of the Italian tourist.
An Italian tourist got a room at a american hotel. Upon entering the room, he found the bed stripped down and unmade. He called the front desk and said "I wanna sheet onna da bed!" to which the man replied, "You'd better not!" and had him kicked out.
He then went to a diner to have a meal and think over what happened. Upon sitting down, he noticed there were no eating utensils for his meal. He stopped the nearest waitress and said "Miss, I wanna fock onna da table!" to which the wattress screeched "What!", slapped him, and had him kicked out.
Still hungry, he went to a Pizza parlor, thinking that certainly here he would fit in. He sat down and the waiter came over. He said "I wanna pissa!" to which the waiter replied that the bathroom was down the hall. He said "You no unnerstanna me, I wanna pissa onna my plate!" to which the waiter replied "You better not!" and had him kicked out.
Dissillusioned, the poor guy went back to Italy.
