TheRichLife, Santa is watching you

I've been checking my list and had to stop to go and wipe the tears from my eyes when I got to your name, Man oh Man have you been bad. That might work for you and the family, but for Santa, that isn'r gonna fly:smiley3:.

I was working up my list, but I notice that I am fresh out of bags, so I don't know what to put your elephant crap in to ship it. I know for sure the one thing I have going out to you is a sizable gift certificate to Ryan's Steakhouse.:smiley5:

I see that you are quite the poet when it comes to cigar selection, but I think my selection of dog rockets might change your mind.

Okay, Santa is letting the Alzheimer's get the best of him, I know that you have an affliction with Ryan's Steakhouse, and that you indeed hulu, and that you like the Hemminway brand of cigars, but for the life of me, I can't get my crystal ball to tell me anything different.

Tell me, what is your poison when it comes to a soothing drink, and what is your tastes in cigars?

I was thinking Old German for the drink, and some Backwoods for the cigar of choice. Now, be a good boy, and throw Santa a bone:smiley25:

SS

Dear Santa,

I'm really easy to please...just ask my wife. :smiley4:

I like a medium bodied smoke, but I'm not very picky and I enjoy trying new smokes whenever possible. As far as drinks go, I'm a big fan of local beer. Whatever they brew at the North Pole, and fits in my stocking is perfect!

I have tried to be a good boy this year, but if I end up with coal, I won't be shocked!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TheRichLife

Dear Santa,

I'm really easy to please...just ask my wife. :smiley4:

I like a medium bodied smoke, but I'm not very picky and I enjoy trying new smokes whenever possible. As far as drinks go, I'm a big fan of local beer. Whatever they brew at the North Pole, and fits in my stocking is perfect!

I have tried to be a good boy this year, but if I end up with coal, I won't be shocked!

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I think I am goin gto leave the wife jokes out of it:smiley2:

So, you like medeium bodied smokes huh...that means I am going to have to change Rudolph's diet, you see, I have been feeding him a heavy diet to prep him for his own special rockets.

As for the beer, I am not sure if Vixen's pee qualifies, but I will let you decide on this one.

Just curious, how do you feel about coffee brandy? any likes or dislikes? I found that you can make a pretty good version of a slippery nipple by mixing the breast milk from Vixen with the pee from Donner...What do you think?

Gotta go, some of the elves are starting to spread the rumor that I am into the porn again.

SS

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Secret Santa

Just curious, how do you feel about coffee brandy? any likes or dislikes? I found that you can make a pretty good version of a slippery nipple by mixing the breast milk from Vixen with the pee from Donner...What do you think?

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Sounds great. A man can never have too many slippery nipples around.

Okay, Vixen finally got over the brown bottle flu (son of a gun is living up to the name).

Your package is flying out today.
I do have to warn you though, I was rechecking the naughty list, and your name has shown up on a couple of different occassions, and with the price of coal, I found that my choice is more than appropriate for your level of naughty.

HAHAHAHA...I mean HOHOHO.

SS

Dear Santa,

One of your reindeer took a crap down my chimney today. Aren't those things house broken? Since apparently I have been quite the naughty boy, there's no point in holding this back any longer...:smiley38:

Love,
TheRichLife

Shit, I just found out that the elves have gotten hold of my naughty list, and took it upon themselves to mail out some ...ahem...packages that were not really up to snuff:smiley15:

I tell ya, it wasn't me, someone must have signed on as me and sent that package to you:smiley2:

Don't worry, I have a very special package sitting right here waiting for the fermantation process to complete:smiley11:, should only have about 2 more days left before it ships.

Hope you like you stogies a little on the green side:smiley26:

SS

Okay, I got the REAL package sent out today. After checking the list twice, I realized that you weren't all that bad, but I do have to warn you, you will need nose plugs to open this package...if you thought the last one was bad, you have another think coming.

tracking number
03082690000222006798

SS

Thanks Santa!!!! I got your box of Christmas cheer today. I'm looking forward to enjoying a nice smoke and a drink from the North Pole.

Cheers,
TheRichLife

PS
I take back everything bad I said about you and Mrs Claus, but I'm still pissed at that reindeer.

I am glad the package got there okay, I did forget to put a note in there, the bottle is homemade Kahlua(sp), you should let it sit for a few more days before popping the cork.

I don't blame you for the animosity towards the helpers, but, don't worry, they will get their coal the hard way....talk about taking your lumps:smiley15:

Enjoy the smokes.

SS