The general rules of this game are no different from any other drinking game. A drink is either a shot or a good gulp from a beer (or cider). Different events call for different numbers of drinks and all you do is watch the speech and play along. If all goes well, you'll be unconscious by the time they show the other party's response.
GAME TIME
This year, President Bush's State of the Union address is scheduled for Tuesday, January 23, 2007 at 9pm (Eastern). It should be broadcast on all major networks and cable news/political networks.
For online coverage, go to http://www.c-span.org/executive/stateoftheunion.asp.
EVENT
# of Drinks
Every time he says....
“The state of our union is strong…” (or some version of this)
1
+1 if he breaks down in tears
"the American people" 1
troops
small 1
surge quick 1
Iraq 1
Baghdad 1
"sectarian violence" 1 Car Bomb
recipe
Iran
1
terror (however it’s pronounced)
small 1
detainees
1, with your hands behind your back
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad 2 (+1 if he pronounces it correctly)
Saddam Hussein or Saddam
1
elections 1 if referring to another country's
2 if referring to the 2006 midterms
freedom 1
Homeland 1 if followed by "Security"; 2 if another context
"Bring it on" Arm-wrestle the person next to you; loser drinks
“nukular”
1
bipartisan or bipartisanship
2 (+1 if followed by giggle or chuckle)
"addicted to oil"
shot of extra-virgin olive oil
Medicare or Medicaid wait a really long time to get a drink you really need
education 1 (+1 if mispronounced)
"human-animal hybrid" What do centaurs and mermaids drink, anyway??
"illegal immigration" 1 shot of cerveza/tequila
God (or any euphemism for God)
2
sacrifice 1 - in the context of the armed forces
2 - for civilians
"fiscal discipline" or "smaller government" or "responsible government" if you're a:
congressman/lobbyist: Cristal, laugh derisively
private/other public sector employee: Andre, look glum
"tax burden" 1
hydrogen shout "Oh, the humanity!", take 1 shot
ethanol*
* With all of the ethanol "serious players" of this game will consume, they will be their own alternative energy source by about 10pm. We think you can figure this one out...
evil or evildoers 2
Ban Ki Moon shot of kimchi-infused vodka
Mark Foley one shot of Scotch, aged 16 years
"macaca" Invite George Allen for a drink - he doesn't have anything better to do...
"Don't mess with Texas!"
Locate the nearest Texan; mess with him/her; then drink
Every time he....
praises a Democrat by name
1
....if that Democrat is not Joe Lieberman 3
uses a Bushism (i.e. says something that's not really a word, other than “nukular”) 1
references a mistake he/his administration has made pinch yourself, take shot to ease the confusion and disbelief
announces a new initiative 1
Every time the camera shows....
the First Lady
1
your congressman/woman
1
and pat yourself on the back for being able to identify your congressman/woman
John Kerry Pour yourself a shot and drink it, unless, because of your lack of education, you "might get stuck in [the bottle]"
Barack Obama 1, with hopeful audacity
Ted Kennedy drink until your liver cries
a close-up on Nancy Pelosi (without the president in the shot) 1 shot, taken without moving any facial muscles
+1 if surrounded by children
Nancy Pelosi and Dick Cheney...and only one is applauding
+1 if it looks like they're kicking each other under the desk 1
Tom Tancredo, announced presidential candidate 10 pesos-worth of tequila, yell something in Spanish
a "special guest" who is introduced by the President 1
a "special guest" who is a member of the armed forces 1
a standing ovation from HALF of Congress
1
Other
if the speech is under an hour
Finish your drink and have another beer
DEMOCRATIC RESPONSE BONUS GAME
any reference to the 2006 midterm elections
1
if you’ve never heard of the Democrat delivering the response
1
any mention of how the Dems hope to ride roughshod over President Bush 1
if he starts laughing uncontrollably Dems: join in the laughter
GOP: sob, reservedly
Both: 2 shots
Greens & Independents: Still no drink for you!
if he references his military service and/or pulls off his shirt and starts flexing grunt, drink, smash beer can on forehead
