Cigar things that annoy you

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08-09-2005, 07:48 AM
Island Epicurean

The Fact that a Montecristo #2 Costs $30 in Canada!!! :smiley21:
08-09-2005, 07:49 AM
Island Epicurean

The Fact that You Cant even Smoke on a Golf Course in Newfoundland..... :smiley19:
08-09-2005, 08:41 AM
Jonsey5484

Quote:

Originally Posted by Island Epicurean

The Fact that You Cant even Smoke on a Golf Course in Newfoundland..... :smiley19:

No smoking on the golf course?!?!?!?!?! That would be enough to make me give up golf. That is the main reason I go out there! Well...also to drink. If they did away with drinking too, I am as good as gone!
08-09-2005, 09:07 AM
stjohnroe

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonsey5484

Fidel Castro controlling the Cuban Cigar market! What a no good piece of shit. And I hear his son is just as bad, if not worse.

You're just bitter that you are unable to get them.

For me also the fact that a monte #2 costs £12+ in the UK, and the fact that you need too much patience to age them properly.
09-02-2005, 05:41 PM
Neuromancer

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stinky

Ok. I'll bite. This is just for fun... RIGHT?

1.)Figurados.....I can't stand them. == Why??? What’s wrong with the good ole shaped cigar??? Sounds like you’re very intolerant and anal! Ever watch the movie “Grumpy Old Men”?
2.) "Barbershop" cutters--I'd rather chew off the cap with my mouth. == And, you’ve been Paranoid about “germs” from what age? Ok. It’s kind of unsanitary. Real men don’t care!
3.)Thompson telemarketing calls. == Agree… actually ANY telemarketing!
4.)Candelas. == Do you hate all things different?
5.)Tunneling. == Agree… this is a blatant defect in a cigar.
6.)Getting cigars out of a new box without that ribbon thingy… == Man! You need counseling! Any how… I read somewhere in one of my old cigar books that the proper technique is to push down on the head and grab the foot of the cigar. Most experienced cigar smokers use the same tool they use to open the box… slip the tool (or knife) between the foot and the side of the box and it’s really easy! And this bothers you? Are you retarded?
7.)Churchill cigars that really have the dimensions of a corona. == The more you learn about sizes and labeling, the more you’ll find this is common throughout the cigar industry. Get over it.
8.) Trilogy cigars that aren't triangle-pressed. == This is a big problem??? I rarely even see this brand.
9) Arrogant people continuously posting worthless nonsense on cigar boards. == Like you?
10) A cigar smoker who would think a flavored cigars is worth taste testing. == Ok. I kind of agree…
11) A certain cigar smoker who has a ranked list of his favorite flavored cigars. == Sounds like you have a little vendetta.
12) Someone who puts a numbered ranking on a cigar that is not worth ranking. == But YOUR opinion is better than THEIR opinion, right? Hhhmmmmmmm.
13) A nameless person who smokes Thompson reject specials and tells me how fantastic they are. == There’s no accounting for taste!!! There again, YOUR opinion is better than THEIR opinion, right?
14) A Guy on a cigar board posting quotes from historical figures. == So, you think we should burn all the history books? “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!” Sigmund Freuid
15) Someone who recommends cigar sales and specials when they're much cheaper elsewhere. == Thank God you know EVERYTHING!
16) A person who sees a certain cigar site and just can't wait to share it with others, despite the fact that he has no clue if the site is truly worth scrutiny... == There again, YOUR opinion is better than THEIR opinion, right?

Hey! That was fun… I guess it’s ok to share my first instinct about other posts here, right? Well, I know you might get pissed off because I didn’t agree with your opinion. But, I decided to post it anyway! Even at the risk of offending you. You see, I’m not doing in a mean way… I’m kind of poking fun at the Archie Bunkers here. Or, do you NOT see that?

Anyway, I’m going to add my 2 cents worth of “Cigar things that annoy you” just in case someone wants to poke fun at me!

A. Cigar wrapper leaf that pop off when you’re smoking!
B. People (like little know-it-alls) who have some little tid bit of information wrong and share (or post) it with other cigar smokers.
C. People who take their opinion and share it with others as if it were a “fact” instead of their personal opinion!
D. People who don’t know what they are talking about and use their stupid logic to explain something the know nothing about and share (or post) it as if they have some kind of credible information. That's what we call "Wive's Tales" ... Don't GUESS! Read a book!
E. Here’s one that will confirm that I’m anal too! People who don’t know the difference between these common words:
1. Then & Than
2. Their, there & they’re
3. Hear & Here
4. Your & You’re
5. too & to
6. allot & a lot
F. The Web Site Bulletin Board guys who abbreviate EVERYTHING! Like they are COOL and speak to other cool cigar guys in their secret code talk! RASS, WOA, WOAM, SG, BTL, LGC, PSE, PGC, Hemi, Monte, Connie, etc.
G. ISOM! That’s REALLY stupid!!! IMHO, :smiley14: it’s the dumbest thing they’ve ever come up with!!! Secret code? Island South of Miami? For God’s sake! You can say CUBA! You think the Fed’s aren’t going to figure that out? Does that make you feel secure? Or, dose it make you feel COOL??? Every once in a while I smoke a cigar from CUBA!! C U B A ! ! ! CUBA!

There! Now you got my opinion! I think it’s kind of funny! Hope you guys can take a Joke because . . . I’m Stinky!

He forgot:

7. affect & effect

Heh...actually just wanted to top this for the amusement of those that have come in recent months since this was posted...
09-02-2005, 05:49 PM
hevyboy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neuromancer

He forgot:

7. affect & effect

Heh...actually just wanted to top this for the amusement of those that have come in recent months since this was posted...

affect is a verb
effect is a noun
09-02-2005, 05:58 PM
hevyboy

Quote:

Originally Posted by hevyboy

affect is a verb
effect is a noun

you can use either one as long as you don't mind looking like a moron :smiley20:
09-02-2005, 06:19 PM
Baron Porthos

Does that make you feel secure? Or, dose it

Why is it does then dose?
slipping in the hot tub and getting a good cigar wet.

Realizing if I shop at 4 different local shops I'll get 4 different prices.

Why is does gas have a .25 range in my area? Dose it mean someone is trying to take advantage of us?
09-02-2005, 06:27 PM
hevyboy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baron Porthos

Does that make you feel secure? Or, dose it

Why is it does then dose?
slipping in the hot tub and getting a good cigar wet.

Realizing if I shop at 4 different local shops I'll get 4 different prices.

Why is does gas have a .25 range in my area? Dose it mean someone is trying to take advantage of us?

the reason for this post was that neuro was a smartass to my question, in another post.
I am a card carrying redneck. I can pull out the college knowledge if i have to :smiley37:
09-02-2005, 06:32 PM
superman78

Cigar things that annoy me

People thinking because something annoys them they feel the need to start a thread,and all they do is come off sounding like a know it all cigar snob :smiley15:
09-02-2005, 06:33 PM
hevyboy

Scotty..scrotty

this is a thread that some A--hole started that folks here don't
like at all..
09-02-2005, 06:33 PM
superman78

Quote:

Originally Posted by superman78

People thinking because something annoys them they feel the need to start a thread,and all they do is come off sounding like a know it all cigar snob :smiley15:

Oh and cap issues :smiley36:
09-02-2005, 06:43 PM
ggiese

...seeing a thread of SFG75 resurrected, thinking he's again posting here... :smiley15:
09-02-2005, 06:44 PM
superman78

Quote:

Originally Posted by ggiese

...seeing a thread of SFG75 resurrected, thinking he's again posting here... :smiley15:

Oh stop it,that would make your day :smiley36:
09-02-2005, 06:54 PM
hevyboy

I wish he would, sometimes.
You guys roasted hid ass :smiley15: :smiley15:

today is the first time I have gotten offended.
maybe I shouldn't have ... :smiley37:
09-02-2005, 06:56 PM
superman78

Quote:

Originally Posted by hevyboy

I wish he would, sometimes.
You guys roasted hid ass :smiley15: :smiley15:

today is the first time I have gotten offended.
maybe I shouldn't have ... :smiley37:

Wow you've only been offended once,you must be relly easy going :smiley36:
09-02-2005, 07:02 PM
Neuromancer

Quote:

Originally Posted by hevyboy

the reason for this post was that neuro was a smartass to my question, in another post.
I am a card carrying redneck. I can pull out the college knowledge if i have to :smiley37:

When was I being a smartass? About the lighter fluid thing? I wasn't intending to be a smartass...if I intended to be a smartass it would have been to say much, much more than I did...and you would have really known it was a smartass remark...when I want to be a smartass I can be a real smartass...:smiley4:...I was serious...they make your smokes taste like lighter fluid...butane is much better...nothing smart about it....
09-02-2005, 07:07 PM
hevyboy

ok then, southerners tend to be a little thin skinned :smiley20:
09-02-2005, 07:09 PM
Neuromancer

Quote:

Originally Posted by ggiese

...seeing a thread of SFG75 resurrected, thinking he's again posting here... :smiley15:

Whoa, whoa, whoa...did I miss something here or screw up unintentionally? I didn't resurrect this thread to bring up SFG75...I only did it because of Stinky of Stinky Ashtray fame, as his response to SFG75 was funny and I thought the newer newbies might get a kick out of it...if I poured salt in some wounds please believe me when I say it was completely by accident...to be honest I never read the complete thread...I only read the beginning and Stinky's answer to SFG75...I guess I should have read it all and I will go back and do so now to see what I missed...sorry, guys...
09-02-2005, 07:17 PM
superman78

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neuromancer

Whoa, whoa, whoa...did I miss something here or screw up unintentionally? I didn't resurrect this thread to bring up SFG75...I only did it because of Stinky of Stinky Ashtray fame, as his response to SFG75 was funny and I thought the newer newbies might get a kick out of it...if I poured salt in some wounds please believe me when I say it was completely by accident...to be honest I never read the complete thread...I only read the beginning and Stinky's answer to SFG75...I guess I should have read it all and I will go back and do so now to see what I missed...sorry, guys...

you didnt do anything that bad,guy was an ass,this thread encompasses what he was all about,little snide comments and a lot of bullshit
09-02-2005, 07:26 PM
Neuromancer

Quote:

Originally Posted by superman78

you didnt do anything that bad,guy was an ass,this thread encompasses what he was all about,little snide comments and a lot of bullshit

Now, reading the complete thread is an absolute must read...up unitl now, SFG75 has only been a rumored legend to me as I didn't know what he was all about...can I also assume that after reading this thread I'll have a better idea on how NOT to behave here? :smiley2:
09-02-2005, 07:31 PM
superman78

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neuromancer

Now, reading the complete thread is an absolute must read...up unitl now, SFG75 has only been a rumored legend to me as I didn't know what he was all about...can I also assume that after reading this thread I'll have a better idea on how NOT to behave here? :smiley2:

I wish more people would act like him,much more interesting when theres a whipping boy around :smiley37:
09-02-2005, 07:44 PM
hevyboy

Whippin boys seem to show up, don't they
09-02-2005, 07:49 PM
ggiese

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neuromancer

Whoa, whoa, whoa...did I miss something here or screw up unintentionally? I didn't resurrect this thread to bring up SFG75...I only did it because of Stinky of Stinky Ashtray fame, as his response to SFG75 was funny and I thought the newer newbies might get a kick out of it...if I poured salt in some wounds please believe me when I say it was completely by accident...to be honest I never read the complete thread...I only read the beginning and Stinky's answer to SFG75...I guess I should have read it all and I will go back and do so now to see what I missed...sorry, guys...

Nah... I was just jokin'. I think the "old timers" on this board know I don't mind seeing Scotty... I hate to see the flames start up again, but hey - sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do... After all - I AM the official CigarSmokers "Poopy Stirrer"... :smiley37:

If you've got some free time, you gotta do a search on this board - there's some great exchanges with Scotty. Makes for great reading. I'd suggest maybe the "Okienoodling" thread for starters. That will entertain you for about an hour or so... The "pigs" thread was pretty good too, although not nearly as humorous as the Okienoodling thread. :smiley2:
09-02-2005, 07:55 PM
ggiese

..oh, and here's a thread I'm particularly proud of...

Moochie da Clown declared as a "Category 4" mooch...
09-03-2005, 12:22 AM
CoventryCat86

SONOVABITCH!!!

Neuromaniac, whadda tryin' to do, make me have a stroke? Topping a "Scotty" thread? GEZUZ, I thought that prick was back here for round 112 :smiley36:

Whew.....all is well. :smiley36:
09-03-2005, 12:29 AM
CoventryCat86

Quote:

Originally Posted by hevyboy

affect is a verb
effect is a noun

Pretty good for a "tater"

:smiley36: :smiley36: :smiley36: :smiley36:

http://espn-i.starwave.com/media/app...0909020213.jpg

LMFAO!! Ya know I'm just kiddin' hevyboy. Those dorks may "Got Spurrier" but one thing is guaranteed for those douchebags*** this year and that is a

LOSING RECORD !!
Damn, I was just saying earlier how I miss ole CockyHoskins. Where is that gat dang chicken shit coot? :smiley36:

***this is NOT all USC fans in general, only the obnoxious, loud mouthed DOUCHEBAGS over on CockyHoskins site. Buncha freakin' lame bastids.
09-03-2005, 12:39 AM
Neuromancer

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoventryCat86

SONOVABITCH!!!

Neuromaniac, whadda tryin' to do, make me have a stroke? Topping a "Scotty" thread? GEZUZ, I thought that rpick was back here for round 112 :smiley36:

Whew.....all is well. :smiley36:

Uhhh...what's an "rpick?" Anything remotely resembling a "prick?"
09-03-2005, 12:45 AM
CoventryCat86

Yeah, I fixed it...

As you can see the mere thought of him makes me start to shake, then my blood boils. :smiley36:
09-03-2005, 12:48 AM
Neuromancer

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoventryCat86

Yeah, I fixed it...

As you can see the mere thought of him makes me start to shake, then my blood boils. :smiley36:

You need to calm down...relax...unwind...go smoke, ahhhh...a cigar...yeah, a cigar...a great reason to smoke a cigar...
09-03-2005, 12:50 AM
CoventryCat86

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neuromancer

You need to calm down...relax...unwind...go smoke, ahhhh...a cigar...yeah, a cigar...a great reason to smoke a cigar...

I already had four cigars today.....
09-03-2005, 01:50 AM
Neuromancer

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoventryCat86

I already had four cigars today.....

That's two more than I had and I'm itching for another one but my GF is getting on my case about smoking too many...it started with a couple a week...then one every other day...then one daily...and now, half the time I sneak a second one every day or so and if she knew I was hitting two a day she'd hand me my butt in a handbasket even thought she likes to smoke them too, occasionally... :smiley27: :smiley33: :smiley4:
09-03-2005, 08:07 AM
Corona Gigante

Quote:

Originally Posted by hevyboy

affect is a verb
effect is a noun

Of course I would like to say "close but no cigar" but...

Sorry, not even close.
09-03-2005, 09:25 AM
cigar no baka

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoventryCat86

I already had four cigars today.....

That makes two of us. One crap cigar from cigar of the month club (cancelled that damn thing last month but too late, so I got one more shipment), one tiny cigar, and two big fatass mofos.
09-03-2005, 12:07 PM
PuffTheMagicDragon

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoventryCat86

your taste in cigars is only above that of a dung beetle.

Haven't laughed that hard for a while. Thanks CC :smiley20:
09-03-2005, 01:06 PM
CoventryCat86

Quote:

Originally Posted by PuffTheMagicDragon

Haven't laughed that hard for a while. Thanks CC :smiley20:

I MUST give credit where credit is due. Hugh Jorgan first said that about Puro over on the Island of the Misfit Toys. It was so good, I had to make sure that others would see it because NO ONE goes to the Island anymore. :smiley36:
09-03-2005, 01:22 PM
ggiese

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoventryCat86

I MUST give credit where credit is due. Hugh Jorgan first said that about Puro over on the Island of the Misfit Toys. It was so good, I had to make sure that others would see it because NO ONE goes to the Island anymore. :smiley36:

Be VERY CAREFUL, CC - Hugh has trademarks on ALL of his sayings. If you don't properly quote your sources, his legal team will be all over you. I'm still trying to dig out from under the pile of legal briefs I received from his law firm of Dewey, Cheetum & Howe... :smiley19:
09-03-2005, 04:38 PM
MMAB

Reminds me of my legal firm...

Howard Fine & Howard

:smiley22:
09-03-2005, 05:29 PM
Corona Gigante

I use the respected firm of Sue, Grabbit, & Runne.
09-03-2005, 05:47 PM
Island Epicurean

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corona Gigante

I use the respected firm of Sue, Grabbit, & Runne.

I Prefer "Luvum & Burnum, Family Law"

Of Course there is always, "Dewwe, Cheatum & Runn."

Oh yeah, How Many Lawyer Jokes are there? 3, The Rest of em' are true. :smiley36:

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