how can i help???....

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12-09-2005, 08:12 AM
cigarsarge

This thread is packed with wisdom and knowledge.:smiley32: I have learned so much my head hurts.:smiley23:
12-09-2005, 10:28 AM
bigpoppapuff

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoventryCat86

Will Uncle Booga ever go back on the air with his radio show?

Will Scotty and larrynj EVER meet for a night of passionate love making?

If fpdoc really a doctor or is he a patient at a mental hospital?

Do you know where I can get lamps on line?

1)maybe
2)i'm certain that they're in a reach-around,as we speak
3)fpdoc is a piss pot 19 year old who enjoys invading bb's and sniffing steeler jockstraps...he should find his cock..
4)cigarrebellion.com
12-09-2005, 10:37 AM
Kenyth

Oh wise and wonderous "Puff Daddy", I seek thy wisdom and knowledge.

If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a noise?

If it hits Scotty on the way down, will he make a noise?

Should I smoke any cigars found on his person, or should they be returned to the authorities as stolen property?
12-09-2005, 10:51 AM
SuperChuck

I just got back from Nicaragua and it burns when I pee. Do you have a cream that will get rid of the itching?
12-09-2005, 10:55 AM
bigpoppapuff

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenyth

Oh wise and wonderous "Puff Daddy", I seek thy wisdom and knowledge.

If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a noise?

If it hits Scotty on the way down, will he make a noise?

Should I smoke any cigars found on his person, or should they be returned to the authorities as stolen property?

1)of course it makes a noise..
2)he'll scream like the bitch that he is..........then silence
3)i would doubt if there would be any cigars...he only reads about them...there may be a photo of purobrat,though..
12-09-2005, 10:56 AM
bigpoppapuff

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperChuck

I just got back from Nicaragua and it burns when I pee. Do you have a cream that will get rid of the itching?

that's what you get for boinking a $7 hooker and not wrapping the dingle...
12-09-2005, 10:58 AM
SuperChuck

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigpoppapuff

that's what you get for boinking a $7 hooker and not wrapping the dingle...

She said she was on the pill!
12-09-2005, 11:32 AM
basil

My turn.

My horns keep growing back too fast. My neighbors hold nightly torch-lit vigils in my front yard. I really don't feel like moving but they're starting to annoy me. What do I do?
12-09-2005, 11:35 AM
godfather

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperChuck

She said she was on the pill!

Someone should have left the CELLO on instead of off....
12-09-2005, 11:36 AM
SuperChuck

Quote:

Originally Posted by godfather

Someone should have left the CELLO on instead of off....

Does that mean we're married?
12-09-2005, 11:39 AM
bigpoppapuff

Quote:

Originally Posted by basil

My horns keep growing back too fast. My neighbors hold nightly torch-lit vigils in my front yard. I really don't feel like moving but they're starting to annoy me. What do I do?

i'd suggest a trip to nicaragua....that should fix your problem...
12-09-2005, 01:57 PM
Kenyth

I bought a few cartons of gas station cigars. I decided to store them in my neighbors outdoor humidor. I don't know who built it, but it has a cute little moon cut into the door and they decorated country style by hanging corncobs on the wall. At least I assume it's an outdoor humidor because it smells just like gas station cigars in there. Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's humid enough because the floor is always wet and there looks to be a big oasis in the back. One thing concerns me. I don't think the wood is spanish cedar! Will it still be OK to store my White Owls and Garcias in there? Will it adversely affect the fine, delicate flavor profile? :smiley29:
12-09-2005, 04:31 PM
SuperChuck

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenyth

I bought a few cartons of gas station cigars. I decided to store them in my neighbors outdoor humidor. I don't know who built it, but it has a cute little moon cut into the door and they decorated country style by hanging corncobs on the wall. At least I assume it's an outdoor humidor because it smells just like gas station cigars in there. Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's humid enough because the floor is always wet and there looks to be a big oasis in the back. One thing concerns me. I don't think the wood is spanish cedar! Will it still be OK to store my White Owls and Garcias in there? Will it adversely affect the fine, delicate flavor profile? :smiley29:

Careful! I used to store my Garcias in an outdoor humidor just like that... Then they married ... their cousins!
12-09-2005, 05:19 PM
Kenyth

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperChuck

Careful! I used to store my Garcias in an outdoor humidor just like that... Then they married ... their cousins!

*Gasp!*

Is that how Backwoods were born?
12-09-2005, 05:44 PM
cigarsarge

OK...My cockateal woke up. Now he flys around and farts smoke from the cigar he smoked. How long will this last? Should I allow him to smoke again? Maybe Strawberry Phillies would at least make his farts smell better. What would you do Puff?
12-09-2005, 06:24 PM
bigpoppapuff

Quote:

Originally Posted by cigarsarge

OK...My cockateal woke up. Now he flys around and farts smoke from the cigar he smoked. How long will this last? Should I allow him to smoke again? Maybe Strawberry Phillies would at least make his farts smell better. What would you do Puff?

i thought you were gonna tell me how he tasted after being roasted....

.......if he's farting smoke,i'd suggest you try getting on letterman's stupid pet tricks....that's gotta be so cool watching the little guy flying around and letting out little poofs of smoke....
12-09-2005, 06:32 PM
TheSilentChamber

Crayons tasite good, but whitch color tastes best? What color play-doo dipping sausge do you recomend?
12-09-2005, 06:44 PM
basil

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigpoppapuff

i thought you were gonna tell me how he tasted after being roasted....

.......if he's farting smoke,i'd suggest you try getting on letterman's stupid pet tricks....that's gotta be so cool watching the little guy flying around and letting out little poofs of smoke....

farm 'im out for skywriting.
12-09-2005, 09:13 PM
Kayakinboy

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigpoppapuff

there just is no answer to this question...sorry...

It's the first thing I'm gunna ask God when I ge to heaven!
12-12-2005, 07:26 AM
stjohnroe

Dear BPP,

While removing the cap of a Davidoff Dom Perignon with my trusty angle grinder, I inadvertantly chopped off a couple of my fingers, unfortunately some blood got on the cigar and I am worried that it might affect the draw.
Please advise.
Also, do you know if anyone sells cigar smoking prosthesis?
12-12-2005, 09:46 AM
TheSilentChamber

An angle grinder will not chop off your fingers you royal brit.
12-12-2005, 09:59 AM
bigpoppapuff

Quote:

Originally Posted by stjohnroe

Dear BPP,

While removing the cap of a Davidoff Dom Perignon with my trusty angle grinder, I inadvertantly chopped off a couple of my fingers, unfortunately some blood got on the cigar and I am worried that it might affect the draw.
Please advise.
Also, do you know if anyone sells cigar smoking prosthesis?

be careful cutting any cigar...but consider yourself lucky that you got some blood to mix in with the hints of alfalfa and dog squattings.....don't worry about the draw.....if it is bad,chop up the cigar and mix it in with your morning bowl of cereal....

try thompson's.....
12-12-2005, 10:15 AM
CoventryCat86

I'm a member of an on-line Cigar BB on the internet which shall remain nameless for the time being. There's this guy that keeps posting about gas station cigars and other stupid questions like are cigars worse for you than cigarettes?:smiley29:

Should he be banned or just taunted until he goes away?:smiley36:
12-12-2005, 11:11 AM
stjohnroe

1 Attachment(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSilentChamber

An angle grinder will not chop off your fingers you royal brit.

Right, so this would not remove fingers
12-12-2005, 01:50 PM
Kenyth

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoventryCat86

I'm a member of an on-line Cigar BB on the internet which shall remain nameless for the time being. There's this guy that keeps posting about gas station cigars and other stupid questions like are cigars worse for you than cigarettes?:smiley29:

Should he be banned or just taunted until he goes away?:smiley36:

Taunting? You don't know anything about "taunting", do you CC? :smiley2:

This guy works with barbs like Picasso worked with paint! :smiley36:
12-14-2005, 04:52 PM
godfather

Emergency BPP!

1) I stepped on my cigar, it made this horrible howling sound (like it was alive or something) and I think I broke it!!!!

How can I fix it??? It's broken!!!

2) I've been keeping some swisher sweets in my humidor and aged them for about 2 years...they're actually just as good as an Opus X!!!!

How could the aging have done this????
12-14-2005, 05:10 PM
bigpoppapuff

Quote:

Originally Posted by godfather

1) I stepped on my cigar, it made this horrible howling sound (like it was alive or something) and I think I broke it!!!!

How can I fix it??? It's broken!!!

1)we've talked about this before....if it's not smokeable doesn't mean it's not edible...where else can you mix the flavors of your cigar with the flavors of lucky charms??...cigars and cereal...a great way to start your day!!!!...

2) I've been keeping some swisher sweets in my humidor and aged them for about 2 years...they're actually just as good as an Opus X!!!!

How could the aging have done this????

2) of course the aging can help any great cigar!!!...now we all know (i hope) that swishers aren't as good as backwoods or de nobili's,they're right there at the top....age 'em and enjoy 'em!!!...
12-14-2005, 05:12 PM
bigpoppapuff

messed up the quote...but all the good info is there...:smiley20:
12-14-2005, 07:15 PM
CoventryCat86

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigpoppapuff

messed up the quote...but all the good info is there...:smiley20:

You didn't answer my question oh noble and wise ass NO WAIT I mean "wise one" yeah, yeah, that's it!! WISE ONE!:smiley36:
12-14-2005, 07:52 PM
nhcigarfan

Quote:

Originally Posted by stjohnroe

Right, so this would not remove fingers

I've cut through nails with one of those so I pretty sure you can take off a finger.
12-15-2005, 09:42 AM
Kenyth

Quote:

Originally Posted by nhcigarfan

I've cut through nails with one of those so I pretty sure you can take off a finger.

Well, IMHO, if you're trimming your nails with an angle grinder, you deserve to lose a finger!

:smiley2:
12-16-2005, 06:43 PM
godfather

BPP, I'm too lazy to go to the store to heat up my fireplace with conventional firewood. Will using my cigars work as a good alternative???? How long will they last???

Do ISOM cigars work better than domestics???? Expensive or cheap ones? What size do I use???? How long will they last on an open flame???
12-16-2005, 06:47 PM
bigpoppapuff

Quote:

Originally Posted by godfather

BPP, I'm too lazy to go to the store to heat up my fireplace with conventional firewood. Will using my cigars work as a good alternative???? How long will they last???

Do ISOM cigars work better than domestics???? Expensive or cheap ones? What size do I use???? How long will they last on an open flame???

be creative with cigars and glue......make logs for your fireplace...roll up newspapers, add things from your refrigerator that are dated....

this way you'll get lots of scents.....and you'll be warm as toast!!!...
12-16-2005, 06:49 PM
CoventryCat86

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoventryCat86

I'm a member of an on-line Cigar BB on the internet which shall remain nameless for the time being. There's this guy that keeps posting about gas station cigars and other stupid questions like are cigars worse for you than cigarettes?:smiley29:

Should he be banned or just taunted until he goes away?:smiley36:

You still have a pending question here oh-wise-one:smiley4:
12-20-2005, 11:34 AM
bigpoppapuff

still willing to help....fire away...
12-20-2005, 12:08 PM
cigarsarge

Will my Cubans and Domestic cigars marry if left in my humidor together. If they do what will their offspring be like?
12-20-2005, 12:27 PM
ggiese

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoventryCat86

You still have a pending question here oh-wise-one:smiley4:

I think Sid's ignoring you, Bill... :smiley36:
12-20-2005, 12:27 PM
bigpoppapuff

Quote:

Originally Posted by cigarsarge

Will my Cubans and Domestic cigars marry if left in my humidor together. If they do what will their offspring be like?

they will marry...offspring should be beautiful little petite coronas....and every now and then you'll get a swisher...or sadly,a backwoods...but you'll love 'em just the same....
12-20-2005, 12:47 PM
godfather

bpp, why are yout not answering everyone's questions????? CC has asked you questions and you don't answer! Please address...:smiley2:
12-20-2005, 12:55 PM
bigpoppapuff

not worth answering...imho..

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