Sir mortimer was contemplating the meaning of life. If only he could...
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Sir mortimer was contemplating the meaning of life. If only he could...
figure out why Regibold didn't shoot him dead in the duel. After all, Mortimers pistol was....
of the Cracker Jacks box variety, and was basically a POS made in China water pistol. "What a dumbass I am" he thought while...
he counted his dubloons to see how close he was to affording the pistol sampler. Of course, a hundred chinese water pistols.......
filled with breast milk from 100 different women was one of Mortimer's wildest fantasies. He dreampt endlessly of day that he..........
would suck on the barrel and pull the trigger. But alas, he still could not get over the...:smiley4::smiley41:
fact he still had not got himself a hooker. He decided to take care of his needs by
using the empty Cracker Jack box to build a home-made Flesh Light contraption which failed miserably because...
he forgot to cover the edges of the box. This led to a trip to the emergency room due to paper cuts on his...
millimeter monster. Meanwhile the sub crew...
crashed through the arctic ice to find...
a colony of depraved eskimo chicks. They took it upon themselves to trade the girls curly fries and chili in echange for...
snakes on the mother fucking plane. How could this...
all be the result of a slutty wife and a mis-firing flintlock pistol? The eskimo chicks suddenly...
teasingly took off the 15th layer of parka, leaving 14 more to go. The sailors drooled, and...
Creamed in their jeans...
The sailor's faces showed their true colors. Realizing how his crew were depraved fetishists the captain called sir mortimer to....
service every crew memeber's gun, personally. This led to...
A massive colonization of a rare strain of the clap. The cure for this was excruciating and included...:smiley4::smiley41:
a rare ointment made of truffle oil and wasp spray which stung the tips of their...
fingers. Sir Mortimer decided it might be easier to tame the Shrew by organizing a
box split of antibiotics.
The antibiotics looked like tiny blue pills, and figuring that if one was good, then more was better, each sailor promptly...
chopped up a fiver of the little blue pills and proceeded to snort them through a giant....
torpedo tube. After all that, the sailors were way mellowed out with a hint of paranoia when they noticed that the eskimo chicks were down to their last 7 parkas, holding walrus spears when...
Randy the Macho Man Savage appeared out of nowhere. He then tried to bribe the Eskimo chicks to ....
Remove their seal skinned / spandex panties by bribing them with several cans of smoked salmon. With glazed eyes...:smiley4::smiley41:
they followed the girls as they motioned them into their long house. Once beyond the threshold
the smell hit them full force. With a look of surprise, Sir Mortimer......
realized that all he ever wanted was to be held as a child. Meanwhile the police were called to the trailor park next door to respond to a...
shouting match and domestic violence issue that was happening because of a broken harpoon. Tensions were very high as the cops wrapped their baton against the door, suddenly... :smiley4::smiley41:
the sexy eskimo chicks emerged removing their tops. Silence fell on the village as...
a pitsky(a cross between a pitbull and husky) latched on to the officers ankle. He grab his radio in painQuote:
Originally Posted by Roger
and called up Will to prepare a big serving on Nachos. The naked Eskimo chicks then converged on...
the nachos, and realized that they were the soggy, leftover ones A had brought for lunch last week. Nevertheless, they....
stuffed them deep in their pie wholes. The officer watched in amazement before
As he wiped the drool with one of the seal skins that was lovingly bestowed on him. Before he knew it he found himself drawing his taser and...
tasing himself for messing up the never ending story. Chapter 2: Meanwhile on the Boyscout amazon canoe trip, Elmer took it upon himself to...
provide cigars for all the scout masters. While he was preparing the Acids and Lars Tetens....
he accidentally inhaled and contracted the most awful of flavored cigar diseases, death that spreads to all others in the world via zombification...