The Never Ending Story Thread.......

The proper way to tap your shoe so the guy in the stall next to you will know that....

you aren't just there just to piss...

and might be looking for more than 2 shakes. Since Shaq's feet are so big....

Dr. Phil is having a hard time teaching shaq, since he is used to working with smaller "shoes", adn is quite loss on how to teach shaq. So Dr. Phil decided to bring in someone who is more experienced handling bigger "things" and that would be.....

Pamela Lee Anderson. Though since her recent surgery.....

which includes an implanted vibrator, she has experienced some electric shocks that cause...

extreme Turetts syndrome, and spastic flailing of the...

ears, with such velocity that they generate a humming sound, therefore the term...

"artificial insemination" has new meaning. Other additions to Pam's body include.....

Senor Chef Chris’s tequila dispenser along with a humidor that is used to hook up all of her fellow BOTLs that she meets on this post.

Chef Chris was asked by Pam for a new sig tag once she joined up…But Chris has yet to make one for her.

In order to make it, he wants to render an animated picture of her using computer graphics, but he simply lacks hardware capable of handling those huge.............

demands for mammarie......err, uh, I mean MEMORY, yeah that's it, huge demands for memory that compiling such graphics would create. As a temporary workaround.......

.....he attaches two weather balloons full of water to a mop. Now if he could just.......

........find the perfect centerpiece to attach to the other end of the mop handle. He had considered using............

a bone-in ham, but couldn't get the...........

..... bone big enough to be realistic. Not to mention the fact that he would have to consider attaching the bone to another dummy. As he was thinking, dummies and big bones reminded him of........

Tommy Lee, whom he considers to be one of the luckiest bastards to ever walk the face of the earth. After seeing the famous video......

........."Big Boned Hams Gone Wild!", which has excellent footage of............

Tommy Lee boning big hams and.......

and our beloved Chef Chris actually drawing the sig tag that Pamela wanted in the first place.

But it was a good thing Magic johnson was close friends with chef chris cause....

having a magic johnson opens all kinds of doors for a guy, not to mention it leads to a hefty discount at the brothel where my sister works. This reminds me.....

..........once again of bone-in hams, but I digress. What I really need is a....

.....new direction for this story to take. So I opened up my refrigerator........

...and found, a bone-in ham? Really, this whole ham thing is getting rather scary! So, I pretended to ignore it winking at me and instead concentrated on......

a big bowl of juicy peaches that I had forgotten about. The peaches caught my eye for a moment, but that damn winking from the ham.......

......was REALLY distracting me! I mean, it was a pretty good looking ham! I woulnd't mind boning and eating it! You know, it...........

…Smelled a lot like Magic Johnson. Reminded me of the story that he told me about how him and DR. J would go hang out in from of the Lakers girl Locker room after the game after putting a little bit of the ham juice behind each ear. He said it drove the ladies crazy!!!

Just then the phone rang; it was Chef Chris to tell me he would be right over with the sig tag for Pam. (HINT…Chris, Put a Tag Here…It would ad to the story)

...Chris finally appeared at the door, sporting a brand new tattoo of a....

The sig tag magic was all made possible by the miricle of modern memory/mammary compression. Made possible by the effots of engineers at the Playtel-Intex corporation. Defense contractors worked night and day modifying military computerized torpedo harnesses. The genius they designed is called.................

...........a hammogram. Grabbing a peach, and watching television, he tries to........

figure out if he had just fallen in and out of a time-warp, or did Chris really show up at the door. Was the tatoo of a bone-in ham, a peach, or some weird contraption designed to hold some sort of long metal tube? And why does it smell like......

oops

...I did it again.

A new adult diaper type fragrance from Brittney Spears. She has a lot of experience developing............

.....disasters that people simply can't stop talking about. That's why she's so......

manly, wait, is that the right word, no I was thinking...

......."musky". That comes from too many hours on leather car seats in mini-skirts with no panties. On the other hand, the payoff is..........

that "new-car" aroma accompanying.....

......Paris Hilton, wherever she goes. Every time she catches a whiff, it makes her fondly remember what it was like to..........

wash her first car. It had leather and the new car smell. She really....