Sir mortimer was contemplating the meaning of life. If only he could...
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Sir mortimer was contemplating the meaning of life. If only he could...
figure out why Regibold didn't shoot him dead in the duel. After all, Mortimers pistol was....
of the Cracker Jacks box variety, and was basically a POS made in China water pistol. "What a dumbass I am" he thought while...
he counted his dubloons to see how close he was to affording the pistol sampler. Of course, a hundred chinese water pistols.......
filled with breast milk from 100 different women was one of Mortimer's wildest fantasies. He dreampt endlessly of day that he..........
would suck on the barrel and pull the trigger. But alas, he still could not get over the...:smiley4::smiley41:
fact he still had not got himself a hooker. He decided to take care of his needs by
using the empty Cracker Jack box to build a home-made Flesh Light contraption which failed miserably because...
he forgot to cover the edges of the box. This led to a trip to the emergency room due to paper cuts on his...
millimeter monster. Meanwhile the sub crew...
crashed through the arctic ice to find...
a colony of depraved eskimo chicks. They took it upon themselves to trade the girls curly fries and chili in echange for...
snakes on the mother fucking plane. How could this...
all be the result of a slutty wife and a mis-firing flintlock pistol? The eskimo chicks suddenly...
teasingly took off the 15th layer of parka, leaving 14 more to go. The sailors drooled, and...
Creamed in their jeans...
The sailor's faces showed their true colors. Realizing how his crew were depraved fetishists the captain called sir mortimer to....
service every crew memeber's gun, personally. This led to...
A massive colonization of a rare strain of the clap. The cure for this was excruciating and included...:smiley4::smiley41:
a rare ointment made of truffle oil and wasp spray which stung the tips of their...