....can sell those Carl's Jr. burgers. Which is probably the only job she's.........
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....can sell those Carl's Jr. burgers. Which is probably the only job she's.........
ever had where she actually wanted to wear both inner and outer garments. After all, popping grease and..........
.....embarrassing everyone you've ever known is more than a full time job. Because when the sun goes down.......
it's time to hit up that brothel where....
Where Everybody Died And The Story Ended!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
:smiley19: *sniff*
It's over? No more funnies? No more gags, satire, celebrity bashing, or innuendo's? Awwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, what an amazing dream that was, it almost reminded me of the time I ....Quote:
Originally Posted by BigMacFU
was late to class but still spending time on cigarsmokers! Shit, gotta go before I...
forget again... I need to send some flowers to the girls at the brothel. They have all been so generous and I'd like to thank them for helping my sister...
.......find her way back to the place she originally.......
Got started in the brothel business. But wait, why did she even go into that business? Could it be because......
................ she started as a milkmaid? It's where she found her calling in life. One day, she was behind and working through lunch. She was churning butter with one hand and milking a cow with the other while eating a bannana. A passing woman saw her multitasking feat and said to her, "You know, you could make a lot more money if you were doing that same work with three.......
sailors on the warf, politicians in public restrooms, or rock stars in hotels." The opportunities are really endless. As a matter of fact, the large number of choices for.......
.........someone of your talents and caliber are endless. I'd like to formally invite you to join the CCC (Chicken Choking Chickies). We have many positions for you I think you'll find quite interesting. Do you have............
Time to stop by my office to show me what you can do and go over the positions. It will be very worth your while. Because we at Brothel America Inc. strive for the best performing employees. For example...
...we once hired a receptionest who could single-handedly squeeze a 16oz bottle of diet coke until the lid poped. But this little demonstration shocked some of the faint hearted into revising the qualifications to only require...
Solving a Rubix cube in less than ten minutes while at the same time opening a bottle of Astro glide with your teeth. Only the best of the best can do this and will be offered a job…On top of getting a SIG TAG from Chef Chris.
Sig Tag? I think we need a sample of what it would look like from Chris. Even a quick sketch would do, as this has really got my intrest now. I mean really would it..........
................be so hard to come up with a little something involving Alaskan Salmon?
Salmon, the other pink meat! :smiley17:
Quite an interesting concept! Not to mention.................
...Chris has been lagging in the sig tag department as of late. I mean Maduro Man is still waiting for his tag from the PotPass that ended along time ago…
(jk Chris…just busting balls)
so I think it should have something to do with pink salmon. Because this just seems like a good idea, I mean what goes together better than a brothel interview and pink salmon. This would have to be one of the greatest things I have ever seen. Speaking of great things that I have seen, I recently saw the most extraordinary thing ever in my life. It is a movie called Sasquatch on Mars. Its a very interesting documentary about Sasquatch's journey to the planet Mars, and all the cool adventures that he goes through along the way and while on mars. It is just a phenomenal movie that I highly recommended to anyone. The one scene that takes place on mars, involves Sasquatch playing volley ball with these HOT martian babes, and he starts hitting it off with the cutest one of the group. It is so gripping that it has you rooting for his success. One of the other great scenes is when an invading force comes to conquer mars, and Sasqatch's new girlfriend gets taken away by this mysterious force, and he has to travel to farthest reaches of the galaxy for love, sex, and rock n roll. Luckily for him he finds an old abandoned space shuttle from our various mars expeditions and and is able to outfit it with a kick ass stereo system to blast the great sounds of rock n roll through the galaxy while on his travels. While traveling to rescue his girlfriend he meets several other alien races on his way, and introduces them to sweet sounds of rock n roll. Sasquacth is finds out that he is able to unify the galaxy withe sounds of.......
......Music. The story of the Von Trapp family and Maria melts the hearts of the barbaric aliens, eventually causing much weeping, hugging, and teary eyed apologizing on a galaxy wide scale.
There are Yeti's and three breasted mutant alien babes, Siths and Jedi, Cylons and Colonials, Federation officers and Borg, Space Marines and Aliens, dogs and cats, all hugging, kissing, cheering and dancing in the streets. It's quite disgusting really.
Sitting quietly in a corner, infuriated and fuming about all the sappy sweetness is............................
Frank Zappa, who, once he observed the three breasted martian babes, couldn't resist any longer and launched into a rendition of "Titties and beer" that blew their minds. Unfortunately, it really pissed the martian women off, so he followed that up with "Broken Hearts are for Assholes". This led to......
... a violent uprising by the assholes of the universe, known universally as the "Sphinctonians". who have conquered many galaxies with their mighty....
..........."Wind of Death" ability. It's silent, but deadly! They're definitely evil. I mean, these guys really stink! They have a very deep love and natural talent for starting shit wherever they go. They plunder the civilizations of the galaxy for their......
century sams and acids. They don't smoke them of course, but you should see what they do with them, things like...
..........plugging up their face-holes by stuffing it right between their cheeks. The funny thing about a sphinctorians face is......
.....that their eyes, nose, and mouth is all located within a 3 inch radius in the middle of their head. Their lips vibrate when they talk, and all have chronic halitosis. So when they sneeze......
............, you'd swear there were barking spiders about. The halitosis makes them very fond of breath mints shaped like.........
....spaghetti noodles. They are easier to eat, and can be cut into custom lengths depending on the strength currently needed. Of course they never use them when.....
...they are at the doctor for their annual physical. They just love to see the doctor's reaction when he says "open wide" and they breathe in his face. Then when he says "turn around and bend over" well...
.................they just hope the "instrument" he's using has numbers on it. This is because many Shpinctorian Doctors are flaming..................
trolls that constantly try to get under their skin. They have even been suspected of covertly...
pedaling Mary Kay products. As they really really want that pink caddy because....
..................they're just not good looking enough to experience the joys of a "Pinkly-Taurus". The female of the species is in strict control of those and only give them to the best looking of the males. Many dream of just touching one, much less owning one. Servicing a "Pinkly-Taurus" is considered a job of great honor and the competition is fierce. In order to get a "Pinkly-Taurus", I once saw a Shpinctorian........
do something so fowl that even Perez Hilton wouldn't do and we've seen him do some really horrible things, things like ...
Smoke a Swisher Sweet and review it as the BEST cigar he has ever smoked. As far as the Best “Pole” he has ever smoked…