Well, dammit, late is better than never. Maybe.

So, I totally dropped the ball and neglected to continue the quasi-traditional Christmas writing contest.

The original inspiration:
http://www.cigarsmokers.com/threads/...SMOKER-s-STYLE!

And here's a link to last years thread:
http://www.cigarsmokers.com/threads/...riting-contest

I've altered the rules a bit.....here they are:

1. Contest begins today.

2. Open to members in good standing. If you don't know if you're in good standing or not, enter anyway, someone will let you know. :smiley2:

3. You can submit as many entries as you want. Entries are to be posted in this thread.

4. Entry must be in the form of a limerick or haiku.

5. Entry must be themed around cigarsmokers.com and the Holiday season.

6. Deadlines are CST.

7. Winners will be chosen by Poll of the membership.

8. As the host, I won't be playing, but I reserve the right to litter the thread with sarcastic comments.

9. Deadline to post your entry = Midnight CST, January 15, 2015.

Poll starts on Monday, January 19, 2015 and will close at 11:59 p.m. on Wednesday, January 21, 2015.

The winner will receive some very tasty smokes from the bottom right corner of my coolerdor. (I've done some shuffling since last year)

Good luck!!

:smiley36:

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Jamie Forgot the Christmas writing contest
From buzz, here comes a haiku.

I was wondering
What the heck happened to this
Then I ate some cake

I was wondering what happen to this too...then I remembered I had a life..
then I ate some cake
rose are red!

First, watch this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlkoQ4bUE5k

Then, enjoy…



Christmas.
Christ-mas.
Chriiiiiiiiist, mas!

It came and went,
my money is spent,
I bought Padrons and a boat.

Dasher,
Dancer,
Prancer and the other weird deer…

They pulled the red sleigh,
Then stole my Padrons
While the fat man laughs
I get the shotgun
Give me my Padrons back you punks

Hey Santa…
get these stupid deer off of…
my roof.

:smiley45:

fuck

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kevin7

fuck

---

Extra points for brevity and clarity! :smiley1:

The air is colder
cigar bugs beware of it
my hands grow more numb

I am brave or fool
The cut, the toast, the lighting
Wife smiles at window

Layers upon high
Corojo smoke billows forth
cold's pain all ignored

Time moves slowly by
Squeezing lighter between hands
I have to go pee

Slight sigh at the end
Stand, stretch and take last nub's puff
Back inside I go

The winter is cold
I do love to smoke cigars
but it's not easy

Memories come back
Christmas lights and Barry's songs
I'm ready again!

:smiley31::smiley32:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kevin7

fuck

---

Rhyming starter kit...

• Chuck
• Duck
• Muck
• Huck (ster)
• Huck (leberry)
• Buck
• Schmuck
• Cluck
• Luck
• Suck
• Truck
• Tuck
• amok
• bad luck
• dump truck
• black duck
• lame duck
• good luck
• unstuck
• Canuck (for the Canadian audience)
• Puck (for the Canadian audience)
• Muck
• Pluck
• Shuck
• Yuck
• Struck
• Stuck

:smiley37:

Not long to get your entries in.........

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ashauler

Poll starts on Monday, January 19, 2014 and will close at 11:59 p.m. on Wednesday, January 21, 2015.

---

Wow, that's a long time to run a poll, 369 days.:smiley3:

There once was a man from Kansas who tried to fix his fount.
He tried as hard as he could but he realized he couldn't count.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CoventryCat86

Wow, that's a long time to run a poll, 369 days.:smiley3:

There once was a man from Kansas who tried to fix his fount.
He tried as hard as he could but he realized he couldn't count.

---

:smiley44:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ashauler

:smiley44:

---

I guess that means you're not voting for my entry.:smiley36:

Here is my official entry:

There once was a girl from Pennsylvania
who was ready for the North Pole, not Transylvania
She got up very early
Her Dad got somewhat surly
Regardless she enjoyed Christmas mania

There was once a boy from the same place
who had not a clue (judging his babyface)
he seemed to have a good time
the formula mixed fine
And he ushered in his first Christmas like an ace.

The mother was proud of the two of them
She sometimes squawked and clucked like a hen
This was mostly dad's fault
Had he not drank too much malt
fermented with hops, and scotch and gin

The dad often likes to smoke full body cigars
and long ago caroused too much at local bars
he's domesticated now
lest wifey has too many cows
but he still longs to work on his vintage car.

Thank you for the contest, Jamie.

Christmas when I was a kid was early to raise to open up Santa's gifts that were hid

then off to grama house we go

So many people would know the way, the kids would get their own table and play

As I got older it was still over the river to grama's house we go but not so early and their was no more kid's table and poppy would smile when he opened his Parodi cigars all the way then

Grama died

I moved into grandma's house to help poppy and I married. Lots of people now a blended family, used two sides of the house although not many kids.

then poppy died...

Now Christmas was me and mom off to my sisters house she had some kids and the sligh new the way to her home for many years Over the river and through the woods, And straight through the barnyard gate we go....it was never too late for the men to elate around a fire pit tokening cigars, they told us it was just fate...

then my mother dies.

My sister moved far away the kids are out of school. Christmas now no more kids we gathered some figs and hubby and I went to dear Aunties home in the country there was lots of cheer...

then auntie dies

The horse still knows the way on Christmas eve day to Claude's home the Italian best friend to all. He so neat his house is full of treats and in a flash you would find yourself laughing your ass off

then Claude dies

Christmas is on it's way here comes June and my brother in law died falling into Oct my cousin died oh lordy is in his 40's.

Christmas 2014, is me in my wide open bed all day with the covers pulled sharply over my head... I did say covers not a plastic bag..

Father time has stolen my sprit so please hear this as I drive out of site I do wish you all a Merry Christmas..

However with all respect to the baby Jesus I do not want to celebrate it for it reminds me of what I lost


Thanks for the contest....

Added the poll to this thread. Vote away.

Good job everyone. I kept meaning to enter this year, but time got away from me.

Whoever wins, You're Welcome!!! :smiley15:

Voting open for a while yet....make your pick.

By the way, wifey LOL'd at "Wife smiles at window" and "I have to go pee" from #8

How in the world can I be the only one who has voted for Kevin's poem?!?

Congrat's badwhale, I'm fairly sure I've got your addy around here somewhere.....your prize will fly in the next few days, most likely Monday.

Thanks to all who entered.

Thank you, Jamie!

Congrats! BW! King of the whales

Congrats Will and thanks for the contest Jamie!

I can't believe I didn't win..:smiley19:

My sweet, sweet victory winnings arrived today!!!:smiley37:

Thanks again for the contest, Jamie!!!!

You suck