Some Smart Ass White Boy made my list?!?

Word on the street is that you slaughtered 150 lbs of reindeer and then ate it all by yourself without sharing. Honestly I've thought a time or two about offing Dancer so I can't fault you for the slaughter, but you could have at least shared with everyone else here instead of just posting up pictures to show off and make the rest of us hungry. I supose I'll overlook that and throw a couple dog rockets down your chimney anyway. But I aint springing for any of that fancy grape-flavored honeysuckle-infused crap you normally smoke though, so how about you tell Santa what your 2nd choice would be? And if I happened to leave you a bottle of liquid do you have a preference on what kind of elf pee I should bring you? Or is there some pokemon card you've been dying to get or perhaps a Katy Perry CD you need? I really have no idea what you smart ass white boys like nowadays.

Ho ho ho!

Well I'm a fat bastard like you now after eating all that. Only my belt buckle doesn't point down like yours does. You may want to consider pulling the slay this year Santa. Your going to need to fire you list making elf's also. There's no way in hell I was supposed to be on that list but I am so here it is I like my smokes strong and large. 6X60 is my go to everyday smoke but there's spot for any dog rockets you sling down the chimney. I like my beverage dark and I drink it neat. I got to warn you if my kids catch you sneaking around the house trying to climb your fat ass in and out of my chimney they're going to blast a few of them reindeer. So you may want to put dancer out front. O-yeah I've been looking for one of those mistletoe belts. The wife refuses to buy me one. If you have a extra that would be great.

Thanks Santa

Wow Santa your package came in today. Couldn't wait for x-mas to open it and man I sure am glad I
didn't. What a package thanks a lot. This just made my week. And the mistletoe belt buckle is just awesome. I promis I will cherish it for life. Thanks again and hope you have a wonderfull Holliday.

Oh great, my elves must have made yet another mistake, sounds like you got the wrong package. Just put everything back in the box and leave it by the chimney. I'll come back tomorrow night to pick it up and leave you the 3 dried owl pellets and the half-used bottle of doe urine.

Ho ho ho!