Robbers & Thieves

[DeeDubya]

Plenty muddy water here. As a security service contractor I see plenty stupid acts of criminal incompetence. The cops have the video of this one but you don't need to see it to appreciate it.

All banks have video surveillance and many have additional deterants such as dye bags.

After-hours a cleaning crew enters the bank to "clean". The security guard is "somewhere" and one of the cleaning crew is vacuuming in and around the teller stations. He works his way around to the teller side, ducks behind the counter, pops up, and then continues to vacuum. Exactly what he did back there will become evident as he finally works his way over toward the door in the lobby.

(The antenna to activate a dye bag are normally located at the entries so that as a robber flees, the dye bag is activated and well, soon thereafter, all hell breaks loose.)

As the cleaning guy nears the door you can see, frame by frame...

First frame - he is standing straight with his right leg slightly in front of him and there is a slight bulge in bis pant leg.

Second frame - his pant leg is ballooned and a cloud of dust is starting to escape.

Third frame - he has stumbled back with his leg stretched out, the cloud is about 3 feet wide.

Fourth frame - the cloud is now large but you can see that he has managed to get tangled in the vacuum cord and is stumbling about to fall down.

Fifth frame - he has managed to work his way back toward the teller counter, dragging the vacuum by the cord still wrapped around his left leg. He is holding his right leg with his right hand as if to be limping.

Sixth frame - he is now behind the teller counter, but a trail of dust would make him easy to find.

Seventh frame - he is peering over the teller counter, his eyes are the size of quarters, and he appears to be very distressed.

His story - He thought the bag was empty and wanted to have one to use for his next cash deposit. One big problem - he didn't have an account at that bank.

[DeeDubya]

Convenience store robbery...

A robber walks into a local Sac n Pac, draws a gun and demands that the clerk remove all the money from the register and bag it for him. Forrest, acting in his natural humorous way, asks the robber "Paper or Plastic".

This is a true.

[knightnorth]

Did either of these guys have an alias like "holysmoke" or "gfrlaser"? Just a couple of guys trying to get some smoke. Just like a squirrel trying to get a nut.

[Eville]

Did either of these guys have an alias like "holysmoke" or "gfrlaser"? Just a couple of guys trying to get some smoke. Just like a squirrel trying to get a nut.

[MarineOne]

Did either of these guys have an alias like "holysmoke" or "gfrlaser"? Just a couple of guys trying to get some smoke. Just like a squirrel trying to get a nut.

Bravo!!!

(I laughed for 10 minutes after reading this post.)



-K

[Humidor Minister]

A number of years ago my stereo shop got broken into. They came in through the install bay where we kept the empty boxes for the equipment on the display. They stole 1/2 the empty boxes. All the while there were cars everywhere with expensive equipment in them. That's not the funny part. The funny part is, they came back the next night and stole the rest of the empty boxes. They got busted later and spent 8 years in prison. About 6 months ago I heard their names on the news. They drove through 14 different businesses and stole the ATM machines. I think they'll get a little more than 8 years this time.

[kaelaria]

But were the ATMs empty?! lol

[Humidor Minister]

Oh now THAT would be funny. The guys that did that did rob my business a total of 5 times. They hit me for over 30K in total. When they were minors, they robbed a gun store at gun point too. They ripped off every stereo shop in town at one time or another. I could tell a long story about these shit bags but this is the humor thread. What was funny though was the question the judge asked one of them. He said "Why did you do what you did" He replied "It was like an addiction to me" The judge said "I have just the cure for your addiction" "3 years 4 months for the Sizzler. 3 years 7 months for the Dairy Queen and 8 years for audio 2000 and the 185 days you waited to get here....won't apply" The judge broke it off in him. That was back in the 90's
Sorry for the thread jack.

[Eville]

You would think that after robbery 1 or 2 you would beef up your security.