A Women Scorned...

**TachyCoventry** · 06-14-2010, 03:50 PM

Let me start off by saying that this entire post is merely to vent to other cigar smokers. I’ll give a little background before I delve into the story so that everyone can understand where I’m coming from. I have, CORRECTION, I had a really nice humidor fully stocked with goodies from numerous companies including a good amount of sticks from a recent newb sampler trade. The humidor was great and the sticks were always perfect.

Now back to the current situation, for the last 3 months I’ve been living with my ex-girlfriend because we signed a lease together but recently separated. Last week I found a place to move into and I was excited, apparently she did not share my excitement. I went to Greensboro all last week for work and came home on Friday night. Oddly enough, she wasn’t at home when I got there, she also had responded to any of my calls or text messages while I was out of town. A note was pinned to the front door. The note simply said “Fuck you”.

As I entered the house I found that the house that I rented with her for the past 3 years was torn to shreds. There was a kitchen knife sticking out of my mattress, my sheets were shredded, there was a makeup case impaled in my TV (a new TV at that). After calling the police and discussing with them the situation and potential legalities associated with the damage I found out that because we shared a joint home and were together for over 5 years, I couldn’t bring her up on any charges.

After standing up the entertainment center that had been flipped and cleaning up the shattered glass from all the mirrors and pictures in the house, I decided it was a perfect time to enjoy a cigar. I readied my glass (thankfully she didn’t shatter all the glasses), went to the bathroom sink where I stash an extra bottle of scotch just in case (she had taken all the others), and prepared myself a drink. After enjoying a scotch immediately and getting another I went to my humidor and found… you guessed it! NOTHING

She had stolen my entire humidor, all my ashtrays, my lighters and even my cheap $2 cutters. She knew that to hurt me the most she could take the humidor and really screw up my night. The bitch won’t respond to me about anything. She is completely moved out of the house in fact and I have no idea where she could be. I partially moved into my new apartment on Saturday, but without a celebratory cigar from the stash that I’ve been keeping for a year now, it seemed a little bit less exciting than it should have.

In the long run, I need to buy a new humidor and start to fill it again. I guess that there is a silver lining in everything, at least I get to keep searching on the devil site for more cigars, my humidor was getting a little cramped.

So lesson learned and hopefully if you are ever in the same situation you will remember this incident. Don’t EVER leave your humidor at home with a women scorned. Thanks for letting me vent, I needed to do it somewhere where people would understand the anger and frustration that I’m dealing with right now, and amazingly it’s mostly because of my humidor. Everything else is replaceable and will be purchased again in the long run. It’s just the fact that the bitch knew right where to hit me where it would sting the most.

On a side note, I will not be able to finish my mega review as the Kinky Friedman and LFD were in that humidor. Fucking BITCH!

**ashauler** · 06-14-2010, 04:00 PM

That sucks balls, sorry to hear it. Did you not take any cigars on your business trip, or did you smoke them all?

**mrtr33** · 06-14-2010, 04:09 PM

I really feel bad for you, man. From what I've read, you haven't missed much in that Kinky smoke.

Some pretty fucked up things happen in Florida.....

Originally Posted by Daigz

As I entered the house I found that the house that I rented with her for the past 3 years was torn to shreds. There was a kitchen knife sticking out of my mattress, my sheets were shredded, there was a makeup case impaled in my TV (a new TV at that). After calling the police and discussing with them the situation and potential legalities associated with the damage I found out that because we shared a joint home and were together for over 5 years, I couldn’t bring her up on any charges.

.....but I find this hard to believe. She obviously knew you were breaking up, and intentionally smashed up all of your stuff. I would think, particularly, that the knife in the bed was over the line. I would interpret that as a threat - it wasn't like she "accidentally" tipped the TV over, or left the house messy before she left the rental, making you lose out on your deposit. These were intentional acts. Maybe you could sue her? Small claims court might help.

That fucking SUCKS though, man. I think I'm going to pick up some flowers on the way home tonight........

**TachyCoventry** · 06-14-2010, 04:19 PM

I can bring her up in civil court for all the damages but as far as the threat goes the police can't do anything. At this point though, I feel like I should just walk away with my tail between my legs and say fuck it. What's the point of continuing to deal with her? The way it is right now is that I have no idea where she even is and that's fine with me.

I did bring some smokes with me but smoked them all before I got home. Another shitty part, she's a server/bartender at the local cigar lounge. That means that I can't even go in there and get another cigar.

I don't want this to sound like I just rolled over and took it though. I called up the lounge that she works at and informed them of what she did. I've known the owner for a couple of years. By this weekend she will no longer be employed by that particular establishment AND he's keeping an eye out incase she tries to sell my humidor.

**Lopaka** · 06-14-2010, 04:24 PM

Holy damn, that sucks! Sorry to hear what happened.

I would just say, enjoy rebuilding the stash!

Lopaka

**buzz** · 06-14-2010, 04:27 PM

Dude that is a major bummer, just try to be thankful that it was only "stuff", and hopefully none of that stuff had major emotional ties for you (ie your grandfather's pocket watch or something). Also, be glad that she didn't attempt to hurt you, because 1. a knife in the shoulder would probably hurt pretty bad and 2. even if you are broken up and you are angry at her, I am sure you wouldn't want to see her brought up on assault charges.

Look at the bright side bro, I bet that TV was in need of an upgrade anyway... and trust me, if she flushes that Kinky down the toilet it would be a suitable end to it's existence. The Air Bender, however - you will want to get yourself one of those bad boys to try out - even if it is not for the review.

-Buzz

**Paddy** · 06-14-2010, 05:03 PM

Sorry to hear of your troubles.
Women can be a funny breed.
In the future don't do a fucking thing with a woman until your married.
No leases, no co-signs, no loans, no fucking nothing.
You will live to regret it.

**cigarsarge** · 06-14-2010, 05:37 PM

The only possible recourse is civil court. If you live with someone what is yours is theirs and what theirs is yours...Just like a marriage.

**Devil Doc** · 06-14-2010, 06:49 PM

It's never prudent to give advice in these kinds of situations, but I'll tell you this, behavior like you've described doesn't come out of nowhere. Next time, do a little research before you decide to shack up with someone.

Doc.

**Mangyrat** · 06-14-2010, 11:40 PM

Originally Posted by Daigz

On a side note, I will not be able to finish my mega review as the Kinky Friedman and LFD were in that humidor. Fucking BITCH!

Daigz that sucks

Send my your new address I have a extra Kinky Friedman but i don't have any LFD's left.
Maybe some one else has a extra one so you can finish the review.

**Mizicke5273** · 06-15-2010, 06:34 AM

I just picked up a box of the LFDs, same vitola as well. Shoot me your addy and I'll get one out this week.

**Cyris** · 06-15-2010, 12:38 PM

Ah crap, that sucks dude.. sorry to hear that.

**ndv21** · 06-15-2010, 12:56 PM

Sorry to hear that man. It really sucks. Good luck on getting a new humi and stocking up!

**Irish79** · 06-15-2010, 02:14 PM

Lee - Sorry about the kick to the balls. At least you're better off now. Imagine what would've happened to you. And it could've been worse. At least you can have spend some time rebuilding the coolidor.

**TachyCoventry** · 06-15-2010, 03:29 PM

Great advice from everyone on the forum. For those of you who have asked for my addy I'll send it out in a PM, you guys are great people. Paddy, I owe you one for sure.

I've learned my lesson about signing my life away, I'd like to think that it was my young, dumb 20s that caused this issue. I don't plan on doing anything that silly again. For the other younger members on the forum please learn from my stupid ass.

**Mangyrat** · 06-15-2010, 08:58 PM

boxed up and will go out in the morning mail.

**EGeekBMe** · 06-15-2010, 09:58 PM

Holy cow, felt like I was reading a paragraph out of some murder mystery novel. Shit sucks man but hopefully you've taken away some "Lessons Learned" for your future. Good luck bro.

**ggiese** · 06-16-2010, 09:35 AM

Originally Posted by Daigz

I can bring her up in civil court for all the damages but as far as the threat goes the police can't do anything. At this point though, I feel like I should just walk away with my tail between my legs and say fuck it. What's the point of continuing to deal with her? The way it is right now is that I have no idea where she even is and that's fine with me.

I did bring some smokes with me but smoked them all before I got home. Another shitty part, she's a server/bartender at the local cigar lounge. That means that I can't even go in there and get another cigar.

I don't want this to sound like I just rolled over and took it though. I called up the lounge that she works at and informed them of what she did. I've known the owner for a couple of years. By this weekend she will no longer be employed by that particular establishment AND he's keeping an eye out incase she tries to sell my humidor.

Some things to consider...

Sounds like you should convert that police report into an Order of Protection. She sounds well outside the bounds of reasonable, and it sounds as though she's likely not done.

You can and should pursue damages in the civil court - where the level of proof is far less than in criminal court. And once a judgement has been entered for the damages - you have a myriad of legal options that are far more painful for her than the pain you felt you coming home to the mess.

I'm just sayin'...

**mail man** · 06-16-2010, 09:37 AM

DANG...man, sorry you had to deal with all that.

**TachyCoventry** · 06-16-2010, 10:10 AM

To all the people who offered cigars (and more) I want to take a minute to thank you all. This community is an amazing place and the people are more than generous. Once I get my stash back up to capacity I'll be getting the nukes ready to bomb away!

Also for all the advice people have given me, thank you. This situation is far from over but right now I'm just thankful that I am in my own apartment away from her. I am trying to start over with my personal life which is difficult because I've never had to do that before. The sitauation has caused me to lose several friends that her and I made together but that is the least of my concerns. I now have the ability to be happy again after being unhappy with her for so long.

Again thank you to all of you who have offered advice and cigars to get me through these times. It is much appreciated. I already ordered a couple of 5 packs to start of the humidor the right way once I get it. Retribution to those who are sending me things is coming!!!