Ho ho ahem! Cough! Hack! Wheeze!, Merry Christmas.

I have been watching you all year you naughty tobacco growing boy! The Elves have been telling me dirty secrets about your love of cigars. Muhahaha! They say you are fond of Padrons and Have-a-Tampa wooden tipped cigars. I think the elves have been drinking single malt scotch again! The lump of coal I have reserved for you is too big to fit in my stocking or your humidor! Perhaps if I stomp real hard I can mash a few quality sicks in the mix. What do you have an inkling for? How can Santa make your Christmas holiday even brighter? As soon as I get word from you or the elves I just may get around to making that lump of coal smaller! If I don't here from you I may have to dip into my 50 year aged pineapple white owls! Don't you know if I give them to you, you will have a very interesting Christmas? Ho Ho Ho!