SssSooo, nhseegarfan. How's <hic!> it goin? SssSo, you're one a demm sneeeky ones dat comes in here all invdivisdabble, and posts, like 50 pots all year, making itall diffcult ta figgur out your tast. <bbbbrrrrrpttt!> Ahhh...Reaaad more post lesser or sumpting. Whatever. Well, deeze elvis have been diggin up some info 'bout you and itts aint ittts nwot not looking good. Yooo brew beer, you been smokin pipes, yaour pissed wit Pedro or Padrooon for charging too much, however you enjoy the fancier Padruuunns alongs wit LE AVOs, Olivia, and dirty Sanchez Panza. Sanchez Panza? Well, to each their perogiatiaveness. Also sez here youz like to ride mountin bikes, and you are smitter..smiter...smatty...you like what some people is doin' with some people's tobaccy field projects. A man's man. I like dat. Youz are also good at makin' up sumz funnie one liners, and are a der duh black belt in da art of sarchaazm.

Is der anyting else I'v missed? Does you give a shit? I gotta admit, deeze elevs suck at diggin' stuff up, so youz better tell me what else youd like lest youz'll end up with a package of coal (which I have an abundance of.) Pipe tobbaccy? Seegars? Booze? Any specialityty requests? We make shit happen here at da north pole.