Ho, Ho, MemphisFred

[Secret Santa]

Ho, ho, ho -- merry, er, happy holidays -- Santa hates being politically correct, but what with ASPCA up my big ass about how the reindeer are being treated and the elves trying to turn the North Pole into a union shop, I've just about had it. Hell, a few of those elves might just find themselves stuffed in a bag and thrown off the de Soto bridge.

So, Fred, tell me what I can do for you. What would make you happy? How about some venison jerky? A little teriyaki flavoring and I may just be able to stomach Rudolph.

[MemphisFred]

Not so sure about Rudolph, with that glowing nose I'm thinking he must have been in some nuclear accident or something. Probably aint all that's wrong with him either. Now some Dancer & Prancer, Comet & Cupid, Donner & Blitzen jerky would be just dandy, and Teriyaki would be fine. Now relating to those reindeer turds you're sending, I'm kinda partial to Toro sizes but anything will be fine really.

And whatever happens to those elves off the de soto, I hear no, see no, say no.

Oh yeah btw, blow that politically correct shit out ya ear. MERRY CHRISTMAS! you old dirty bastard.

[MemphisFred]

Ummm Santa, haven't seen hide nor hair of your elves yet. Just a heads up in case they went AWOL somewhere warm.

[Secret Santa]

Oh Fred, don't you worry -- Santa has dispatched a gift for you -- in fact, I'd be surprised if it hasn't already arrived. The missus -- who is an excellent baker -- which explains why me belly shakes like a bowl full of jelly -- has been planning on doing some baking, but she's been under the weather. Rather than risk this "reindeer flu" becoming a pandemic, alternative arrangements were made.

Ho, ho, ho -- Merry Christmas!

[MemphisFred]

Oh thank you Santa, I sure whatever Mrs. Claus is baking will be well worth the wait.
Merry Christmas!

[MemphisFred]

Thank you Santa, everything arrived in great shape. Looking forward to trying the great selection you sent once they're rested. And I hope I get to try the chocolate too, the wifey grabbed that and ran You know how it is with women & chocolate.