(Disclaimer: I am not attempting to speak for this particular community. If people want me to STFU, I'll take my cue.)

Garry, for the sake of those around you, online and off (there isn't a difference anyway), I hope you realize that though you should avoid fucking up, when it does happen, your character will be judged heavily on whether you can positively respond to it (like taking responsibility, genuinely apologizing, asking for and following through with what the community wants from you, and exhibiting what Mizicke mentioned above). Fuck-ups are generally accidents, but responses are always intentional.

But perhaps I'm wasting my time, given how many chances you've been given here and your failure to take them.