ashauler I have some bad news

[Secret Santa]

Your on the naughty list. Ive gotten more complaints about you in the past month than anyone else for the entire year!!!! The elves here just refer to you as "the jerk". I'm sure this is no surprise to you but what will be a surprise is the size of the lump of coal I'm gonna stuff in your sock. Now it would be an absolute miracle, but let's just say you are actually able to turn things around in the next couple weeks and make my nice list --no wait, not the nice list, maybe the "naughty, but not too bad" list. If that were to happen I might be willing to include a dried out cigar or two with that lump of coal. I may even leave you a halfdrunk bottle of your favorite beverage assuming the reindeer don't dirnk it all. So just for fun, what sorta cigars would you enjoy, and liquid refreshment? The elves want me to get your hopes up and then crush your dreams. Their mean little guys thats for sure!!

Sincerly,
S. Claus

[ashauler]

Wellllllllll Santa, I don't hold out hope for the next couple of weeks. Seems as if I'm a little too old to be changing my spots and all.

But, should you reconsider (or consult some elves with taste ) I smoke primarily full body/strength cigars and drink Scotch. I prefer rg's of 50 or less....corona/lancero/robusto's, etc.

Really though, I'm pretty easy to please, and could even use that big lump of coal ya got for me......it get's cold here in the winter!!

[ashauler]

Um, damn, Santa, I'm freakin' speechless. I'm humbled by your generosity.