I was working a Beat last night when I had an encounter with a bum. His skin was dirty and wrinkled. What teeth he had were yellow and tarnished. Time had not been good to him and I would have guessed him to be much older then he was.... Sadly this guy looked like shit

He said to me "Hey Officer would you mind helping me out with a little cash for some food?" being the Holiday Season I reached in my pocket and pulled out some cash.... Now I asked him "Are you gonna buy alcohol with this?" and he replied "No Officer, I don't drink". Okay "Are you gonna buy tobacco with this?" and he replied
"No Officer, I don't smoke". Okay "Are you gonna gamble all this away?" and he replied "No Officer, I don't gamble"

So after all this I asked him if he would come home with me.... He was rather puzzled and asked why.... I told him that I would love to introduce him to my wife and show her what happens to a guy who doesn't drink, smoke, and gamble.....