Quote Originally Posted by mrtr33 View Post
George,

I am surprised at your response. Today's newbies need clear cut, absolute fail-safe direction in deciding upon which cigars they will or will not smoke. It's our responsibility, er, rather, our duty as members of this board to spell everything out for them, despite having this wealth of knowledge at their disposal. Your input and clear direction is paramount to their enjoyment of your hobby. Let's try to not let these noobies down!

michaelbehlen,

A thousand apologies. Please visit your local tobacconist. Please make sure you are wearing a white guyabera with a white, tank-top t-shirt when you go. Only real cigar smokers use Xikar products. You won't want to use a lighter (not even a torch lighter!) on your cigar, but instead, light a cedar strip and light your cigar that way. Find the most expensive, darkest cigar in there you can. I would suggest the Padron Family Reserver 44 Years. If they don't have it, roll your eyes and huff, and mention under your breath that the cigar shop is beneath you. Start making loud accusations that you know the owner, and you've never been treated like this. Look disparagingly on other patrons that aren't smoking what you are smoking. Make sure you light up whatever cigar you buy, despite any rules that mention otherwise, because that's what real cigar smokers do.

Please smoke (in this order):
Padron 80th Natural
Padron Milennium - only smoke the first 3/4 of this cigar. Trust me.
Padron 4000 Maduro
Padron 1926 #9
And, my personal favorite: Padron 1928 Maduro - insist upon it!!!

Please let me know if there is anything else we can do for you as a community - make additional sampler suggestions, provide you with online stores with great selections, hold your dick while you take a piss, whatever.

I love it. That's too funny!