Alright Don, you've been working on a mystery all year. You know how when you wake up in the morning you are greeted by the sweet stench of snow cream farts hanging in the air? It's me. I get a bit gassy while watching you sleep. Also, that 12 man tent you pitch in the sheets with your morning wood is quite impressive, that must be quite a sizable albino anaconda you have there. Good for you dman! Good for you.

Now, let's get to the business of the season. What do you like, besides Crystal Clear Pepsi, Crystal Clear Gravy, and wearing your favorite Cross Colours apparel Totally Krossed Out? You can go ahead and mark Dutch Master cigars off your list. I know the elf that robbed their warehouse earlier this year, so you can consider yourself hooked up.

Also, mark 3 Penis Wine off your list, as well as the Barbara Bush nudes, humi beads, and anal beads (you didn't specify, you just put "beads" on your list, I know you like both so I'll send both)

What am I missing? What else does Don like? Any other kinds of cigars, drinks, cigar humidification/sexually stimulating devices?

BTW, what's your bra size? It's tough to tell through that manly mane of chest hair.

Thanks,

Your Secret Admirer...I mean Santa
Your Secret Santa