Here's one for SDVM

[Shelby07]

I used to have a Labrador retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

[brian]

LMAO! That's a great one.

[Newfie]

ROTFLMFAO.

OMG, that's the best punch line I've heard in a lond time!!!

[SmokinDVM]

Oh, shit. I wish I could have been there to see that!

I would have ruined the joke by laughing before the punchline though.

[basil]

Lmfao!!!!!!!

[SuperChuck]

That story needed a "here's your sign"

[WOXOF]

That's a good one. I didn't see that one coming. If I could lick my balls I don't think I would ever leave the house.

[ukyfan]

That was great!

[TheVitaleMob]

Aww, dammit, now i gotta clean all of that diet coke off of my screen!