Congrats to Mauied1101 who won quite convincingly even though he forgot to answer one.
1. I spent 8 days in Africa. My guide Suimbe now lives in the same city as I do?
False- got a few of you on this one..!
2. As a teenager, I was stabbed. The point of entry was my thigh?
False, my thighs are just fine thanks!
3. I think Sarah Jessica Parker is hot
False- Buffugly bitch
4. My favorite color is yellow
True. Don’t know why, but it makes me feel happy!
5. My first concert was Nirvana in a small club
False- my 6th or 7th concert with about 50-75 people max in attendance
6. My house was burned down by a savage gang of assholes when I was 5 years old
True. What a crazy evening that I wish I could hit the old DELETE button on…
7. My grandmother was a “Rosie the Rivet Girl”- during WWII
True- Grandma rocked!
8. I was Baptized as a Mormon
True- nothing else to do in Utah
9. My Grandfather raised Clydesdale horses
True- Gramps was the original “Bud Man”
10. As a teenager, I was stabbed. The point of entry was my eyebrow
True- over a ghetto blaster (On my way home from a party, three dudes tried to steal my double tape deck portable out of all things). Switchblade to the eyebrow, yet I held on to the unit. I was in fear of my Dad saying: “Damnit, I worked my ass off to buy you that radio, and all you have to show for it is blood on the carpet”.
11. My favorite color is blue
False- see above
12. Right now, I wish I could have:
a.)a hot chick with her friend
b.)a glass of Wild Turkey on ice
c.)a turd dipped in Drew Estate flavoring
d.)a new truck
b. then a. Both answers are acceptable, but as Hefty stated (I want, but I won’t)
13. I think Angelina Jolie is hot
Grrrrrrr. True Dat’
14. My favorite feature on a woman is:
a.)ass
b.)eyes
c.)tits
d.)personality
b.) The eyes tell it all!
But I do like a nice girl with a great personality… …as long as she has also possesses a nice answer A. and a great set of answer C.!
15. My first concert was the Doobie Brothers
True. Mom dragged me to this when I was 6 or so. I still remember this vividly: lots of pot, hair, and drunk fucktards singing “Blackwater”
16. I named my first child after:
a.)My Grandfather
b.)An actor
c.)A musician
d.)None of the above
c.) Tons of Ians in bands like Deep Purple, The Cult and Jethro Tull
17. As a teenager, I smoked:
a.)Lots of weed
b.)A little Meth
c.)Lots of cigars
d.)Lots of Cigarettes
a.) I was a big stoner. Kept me sane during my teen years, I guess.
18. When I was young, I wanted to grow up to be a:
a.)Police Officer
b.)Lawyer
c.)Teacher
d.)Crime Boss
c.) A History Teacher until I found out what the wage was….
19. How long have I been with my wife (since we started dating)?
a.)5 years
b.)10 years
c.)15 years
d.)20 years
d.) Wow, and I am 35. WTF was I thinking (just kidding my little special apple spice dumpling pumpkin of a honey bear).
20. I consider myself to be:
a.)Democrat
b.)Republican
c.)Independent
d.)Libertarian
b.) By platform alone, but Dubya has left me, along with others, wondering what in the hell is wrong with this picture. Ross Perot in ’92!!! I believe the Reform party will make a big come-back in the next 5-10 years.
Smokes go out tomorrow- thanks for playing, guys.
Mama said a lot of things and be thankful was the one she never minded saying twice
--Drive-By Truckers
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