Divorce

[Shelby07]

...

I am not sitting on my haunches through this, I'll be getting it resolved and ended, ASAP

Glad to hear it... Hope my post wasn't out of line.

[sprangalang]

That sucks dude.
Hang in there. Listen to what Shelby and others said.
And remember, things always work out for the best.

[Shagaroo]

Sorry you are having to go through this...

I know she is getting advice and support, too but at this point it's only from co-workers at best, she really doesn't have anybody else, including her family. They are all quite upset with her that she went about things how she did,

Now you know why she came in blubbering suddenly wanting to work it out... Good for you for standing your ground and not being her doormat. Regret sucks. It's better she lives with it rather than you.

[nhcigarfan]

Sorry to hear about this. It sounds like your handling your end the right way.

[CoventryCat86]

Have you actually started divorce proceedings yet? If you have, then dating someone AFTER the filing is irrelevant.

I don't know what to tell you, I've seen far worse like a 20+ year marriage, two kids, a co-owned business, a large house and lots of assets with a husband who was cheating for two years, wife found out, he agreed to stop seeing her, turns out he didn't, then three months later he moved out, she didn't fall apart but she was hurt very badly, husband comes back four days later and so far everything is fine and I think it will work.

I've got other similar stories but I'll spare you the details.

This Travis guy has got to be completely out of the picture if anything is to "work out" so.....

[Loudpipes78]

Have you actually started divorce proceedings yet? If you have, then dating someone AFTER the filing is irrelevant.

I don't know what to tell you, I've seen far worse like a 20+ year marriage, two kids, a co-owned business, a large house and lots of assets with a husband who was cheating for two years, wife found out, he agreed to stop seeing her, turns out he didn't, then three months later he moved out, she didn't fall apart but she was hurt very badly, husband comes back four days later and so far everything is fine and I think it will work.

I've got other similar stories but I'll spare you the details.

This Travis guy has got to be completely out of the picture if anything is to "work out" so.....

I am going to file in about 5 minutes. Start the ball rolling. I will get the paperwork for her to sign off on Wednesday when we see each other to deal with the Volkswagen.

There is nothing left to work out, it's done, I am not changing my mind or backing down now. She had her chance to remove the problem and she spent 2 more nights with him and fucked him and then said to my face that she chose HIM not ME. From that point on I finally knew what I had to do, move on with my own life. I don't have to worry about having to have someone meet me 1/2 way right now b/c it's me, myself, and I.

[CgarDan]

Mike, I think you are doing the right thing. And trust me when I say this, she slept with the guy long before that day when she admitted to it.

I have seen something very similar first hand. Unless you are ready to go through hell and take a chance at making the relationship work ( knowing that it might not happen ), you are doing exactly what you should.

In the long run you will be much better off

[nhcigarfan]

Nice thing about a clean break, uncontested divorce, is if she grovels, pleads and proves herself over time you could always date her again if you choose.

But then again, after you get the paperwork taken care of the and divorce is finalized, you can hit the gym for a few months, build up the confidence, feel good about yourself and then take the new, smoking hot - piece of ass - does it all with a smile girl, out to eat at your ex's workplace.

Because, you still want to be friends, right.

[cigar no baka]

Damn I can feel your pain. I've never been divorced but many of my friends have and my sister has been divorced twice. Sounds like you are better off without her, even with reconciliation you'd be wondering if she would ever do it again.

Just stay as calm as you can, let her go screw up her own life and get on with your own. The pain and anger will waste away eventually until they are a small nub. The best solution is to finalize things, get on with your life and not be bitter about the way things worked out. Don't let what she has done to get you and change you, because you deserve better than that.

[guado]

You've got your ducks in a row. You know what you need to do.

I got your back 100% as do a whole ass load of friends who are faithful to the person that has NOT been lying to everyone. You're doing hella better than I ever would.

~Eddie

[tampacigargirl]

I have to agree, you're making the right decision. I wish I would have taken your stand and just moved forward. I moved to FL so to help take care of his mother, He stayed where he was because he was in the Army. Almost a year and everything is fine. We've found a house we both like, start the mortgage process, he starts trying to get stationed hear for his last 2 years before he retires. One morning I get up to give him our morning phone call (we talked 2x's a day weekdays and 3x a day weekends) and I just knew. He was acting weird. I called him that night and he told me it was over. Refused to talk about it. There was someone else. Since I came to FL with nothing but what would fit in a little Subaru I had to go back and get my stuff from him.

Here's where I went stupid. I took him back. All I got was more heartache and grief. And in the end lost all the possessions I had because when he was transfered to Maine he took everything except some junk he didn't want.

Grieve, take VERY good care of yourself, and move on. I'm glad you have alot support. I didn't really know anyone here, I hadn't been here very long and was working 2 jobs.

You have a lot of sympathy and support. Bad things happen, and we can only learn by it.

[cigarsarge]

Glad you stood your ground. Life is too short to be miserable. It seems that she fucked up...Not you. Keep that in mind.

Try not to lean on the booze too hard. It helps a little but it also clouds judgement...Something you will be needing.

You gave it all you had. Hold your head up. You deserve a happy life.

[WOXOF]

There is lots of great advice mentioned so far. You're on the right track. Grieve, but keep yourself busy and avoid doing the things that remind you of her. Just like your friend's dad said, "you'll look back and this will all be a bump in the road of life".

[chefchris]

it drains me to read this. man, i am so sorry.

[heftysmokes]

it drains me to read this. man, i am so sorry.

wow, me too.

[Loudpipes78]

Thanks all.

Tomorrow will be the big day... filing the papers... getting my name off the VW... getting her name off the Saturn.... splitting the insurance... cancelling the life insurance policies.

I just hope everything goes smooth, if so, then I can focus on the weekend, and getting away to Tampa for 3 days for some smoke time with BOTL GUADO.

[Fro-nig]

sorry to hear about your troubles man. sounds like things are going along as smooth as possible. i dont believe in divorce, but, if i was placed in your shoes i think that i would be getting one to.

best of luck! i will smoke one tom. just for you!!!

[Loudpipes78]

sorry to hear about your troubles man. sounds like things are going along as smooth as possible. i dont believe in divorce, but, if i was placed in your shoes i think that i would be getting one to.

best of luck! i will smoke one tom. just for you!!!

I didn't believe in it either but at this point there isn't much else to do that doesn't involve body bags.

[dHUTCH]

I didn't believe in it either but at this point there isn't much else to do that doesn't involve body bags.

Welp you should be getting a package sometime in the near future so check your mailbox. Almost ran out of room in the bag, inside the box

[coors_ca]

sorry to hear it loudpipes. good luck cleaning up the mess.