Texas State Troopers

**Newfie** · 01-23-2007, 03:33 PM

GOOD
In Richardson, Texas State Trooper was running radar. He had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting any. Then he discovered the problem. A 12 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD!" The officer later found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading, "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Plano, Texas. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST
A young woman was pulled over in Austin, Texas for speeding. As the TX State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Texas State Police Ball." He re plied , "Texas State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.

**nhcigarfan** · 01-23-2007, 04:34 PM

There was a guy doing 36 in a 35 in Dallas. He was executed for it.

**JCH** · 01-23-2007, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by nhcigarfan

There was a guy doing 36 in a 35 in Dallas. He was executed for it.

Yeah, real funny. Because that's all we do in Texas is execute people. Granted, we have the most in the nation, but its for things like, oh well I don't know...murder?

Nice try.

**drew_goring** · 01-23-2007, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by nhcigarfan

There was a guy doing 36 in a 35 in Dallas. He was executed for it.

**heftysmokes** · 01-23-2007, 05:31 PM

Originally Posted by JCH

Yeah, real funny. Because that's all we do in Texas is execute people. Granted, we have the most in the nation, but its for things like, oh well I don't know...murder?

Nice try.

Ummm, lighten up...this is the humor section.

**nhcigarfan** · 01-23-2007, 08:15 PM

I heard they executed a guy one time for jaywalking

**cigar no baka** · 01-23-2007, 10:28 PM

Well one thing for sure, they'll never execute you in Texas for having a cigar.

**Newfie** · 01-23-2007, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by JCH

Yeah, real funny. Because that's all we do in Texas is execute people. Granted, we have the most in the nation, but its for things like, oh well I don't know...murder?

Nice try.

Easy JCH, it's a joke.

Do you get bent when Ron White tells that story about other States trying to abolish the death penalty and his State (Texas for anyone who doesn't know who he is) is putting an Express Lane??

Jeez!!!

**JCH** · 01-23-2007, 10:50 PM

no. because i've seen that express lane!

The thing with me and Texas death penalty jokes, is that if they are clever I laugh. If it is a blatant slam, which that post sure seemed like, then I get offended. It's like taking a joke too far, or delivering it in a way that isn't how it was intended.

I'm not ticked or angry, I appreciate humor as much as anyone. Just not when it appears to be a direct slam.

Then again, I go to school in New York. There are alot of anti-texas slams thrown my way. I guess I just get tired of them. I apologize if I seemed overly upset.

**randomhero** · 01-24-2007, 01:36 AM

I don't know if the good or best is true but the better is true. It was on Snopes.com or whatever that myth website it called.

**basil** · 01-24-2007, 12:50 PM

Originally Posted by JCH

no. because i've seen that express lane!

The thing with me and Texas death penalty jokes, is that if they are clever I laugh. If it is a blatant slam, which that post sure seemed like, then I get offended. It's like taking a joke too far, or delivering it in a way that isn't how it was intended.

I'm not ticked or angry, I appreciate humor as much as anyone. Just not when it appears to be a direct slam.

Then again, I go to school in New York. There are alot of anti-texas slams thrown my way. I guess I just get tired of them. I apologize if I seemed overly upset.

I apologize if . . . I call bullshit in this. Yeah you did get your panties in a twist here. You're not the slam police here, so quit crying. Next time take it to the politics section. jeez.

From Ted, lifelong resident of Texas and proud of it.

**JCH** · 01-24-2007, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by basil

I apologize if . . . I call bullshit in this. Yeah you did get your panties in a twist here. You're not the slam police here, so quit crying. Next time take it to the politics section. jeez.

From Ted, lifelong resident of Texas and proud of it.

That's quite alright. Call bullshit on whatever you like. That's fine by me.

No I am not the slam police. No I am not crying. Yeah, there is an if in there. Is it intentional in the tone of "screw you guys, I'm saying I'm sorry just to shut you up"?

No.

Look, I apologize. I was obviously out of line and a little oversensative at the time. For that I apologize.

Perhaps why I reacted in such a way is that I get alot of crap from being from Texas. Seeing as how my "school environment" is fairly stressful and difficult as it is (feel free to call bullshit on that if you want to. USMA is no walk in the park), I guess I was just having a bad day.

I'm sorry. Let's drop it and move on.

**Newfie** · 01-24-2007, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by basil

snip...From Ted, lifelong resident of Texas and proud of it.

Originally Posted by JCH

snip.....Let's drop it and move on.

**dHUTCH** · 01-24-2007, 04:13 PM

It's ok...I've got enough for everyone

**nhcigarfan** · 01-24-2007, 04:46 PM

I heard they executed a guy once in Texas for offering another guy a pad.

**JCH** · 01-24-2007, 05:13 PM

Originally Posted by nhcigarfan

I heard they executed a guy once in Texas for offering another guy a pad.

He was bled to death to be ironic.

**basil** · 01-24-2007, 05:25 PM

Originally Posted by JCH

That's quite alright. Call bullshit on whatever you like. That's fine by me.

No I am not the slam police. No I am not crying. Yeah, there is an if in there. Is it intentional in the tone of "screw you guys, I'm saying I'm sorry just to shut you up"?

No.

Look, I apologize. I was obviously out of line and a little oversensative at the time. For that I apologize.

Perhaps why I reacted in such a way is that I get alot of crap from being from Texas. Seeing as how my "school environment" is fairly stressful and difficult as it is (feel free to call bullshit on that if you want to. USMA is no walk in the park), I guess I was just having a bad day.

I'm sorry. Let's drop it and move on.

Ok bro, glad you're having a better day