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Thread: Hey, Old guys!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Rhineland-Palatinate
    Posts
    2,390
    Blog Entries
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    Default Hey, Old guys!

    I was sent this and I thought some of you might enjoy (or dread )!

    "Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?"

    "We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All the food was slow."

    "C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"

    "It was a place called 'at home,'" I explained. "Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it."

    By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

    Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

    My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

    I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie." When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

    We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a "machine."

    I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

    Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

    All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning.. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on col lection day.

    Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.

    MEMORIES from a friend:

    My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to "sprinkle" clothes with water because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

    How many do you remember?

    Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
    Ignition switches on the dashboard.
    Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
    Real ice boxes.
    Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
    Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
    Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

    Older Than Dirt Quiz:
    Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.

    1. Blackjack chewing gum
    2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
    3. Candy cigarettes
    4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
    5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
    6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
    7. Party lines
    8. Newsreels before the movie
    9. P.F. Flyers
    10. Butch wax
    11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)
    12. Peashooters
    13. Howdy Doody
    14. 45 RPM records
    15. S&H Green Stamps
    16 Hi-fi's
    17. Metal ice trays with lever
    18. Mimeograph paper
    19 Blue flashbulb
    20. Packards
    21. Roller skate keys
    22. Cork popguns
    23. Drive-ins
    24. Studebakers
    25. Wash tub wringers

    If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
    If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
    If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
    If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Florida East Coast
    Posts
    137

    Default

    Guess I'm older than dirt.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Binghamton, NY
    Posts
    1,271

    Default

    Yeah thanks........ like I don't feel old enough already


























    That was pretty good......... thanks
    I'm not big on doing reviews, tobacco doesn't taste like "cocoa" or "nutty" or "mocha" to me, it tastes like freakin' TOBACCO. I know what I like and I really don't care what other people think of other cigars. I've never read a review and said to myself "Wow, that sounds like a cigar I'd like to try!"

  4. #4

    Default

    There a couple of guys around here that remember when all that shit was invented.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Westminster, CO
    Posts
    2,067

    Default

    OTD here

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    The foothills of the Sierra mountains about 50 miles west of Lake Tahoe.
    Posts
    198

    Default

    How many do you remember?

    Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
    Yep
    Ignition switches on the dashboard.
    No
    Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
    Yep
    Real ice boxes.
    No
    Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
    Yep
    Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
    No
    Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.
    Yep

    Older Than Dirt Quiz:
    Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.

    1. Blackjack chewing gum
    Nope
    2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
    Yep
    3. Candy cigarettes
    Yep
    4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
    Yep
    5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
    Yep
    6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
    Yep
    7. Party lines
    Yep
    8. Newsreels before the movie
    Nope
    9. P.F. Flyers
    Yes
    10. Butch wax
    Heard of it, never used it
    11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)
    Yep
    12. Peashooters
    Yep
    13. Howdy Doody
    Yep, but I never watched it
    14. 45 RPM records
    Oh yeah
    15. S&H Green Stamps
    Yep
    16 Hi-fi's
    Yep
    17. Metal ice trays with lever
    Yep
    18. Mimeograph paper
    Yep
    19 Blue flashbulb
    Yep
    20. Packards
    I know what they are, but we never owned one
    21. Roller skate keys
    Yep
    22. Cork popguns
    Yep
    23. Drive-ins
    Yep
    24. Studebakers
    I know what they are, but we never owned one
    25. Wash tub wringers
    Nope

    That's 19. So let's see what they makes me:

    If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
    If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
    If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
    If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!

    Oh Rats!

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