I'll give us a start:

Dan, when's the last time Brooklyn saw a football team? The only thing Brooklyn knows is crime, weird smells, and tornados.

Gaines, you must be an architect for strip malls, because I've never seen a more boring and unimaginative name.

Vick Hater, that's the best you could come up with Bass. Seriously, at least Tender Vickles is creative. I think all your fish loving has finally gotten to you. Get your head out of the bait and try again!

That's all for now, bring it on ladies...