Wife is really griping about smoking.

[chefchris]

Just tell her that the only reason you smoke is because it's your escape from her complaining. It's a vicious cycle. Maybe if she stops ... you'll stop.



Maybe.

[heftysmokes]

Smoke 2-3 per day for the next week. Then ask her if she liked it better when you used to smoke 1 a week. Maybe she'll see that her bitching was a little on the excessive side...or maybe she'll see a divorce lawyer.

Good luck.

[cinda]

Every person has a reason for nagging...smiles so what is her reasoning for not wanting you to smoke, money smell your health? When you come in from the garage smelling like a pardon 1926 maduro what would be her rant?

[DeeDubya]

Wow. That makes me feel lucky. We have some of our best chats while sitting on the back deck "while I smoke a stog". She even likes the smell of some of them.

[BigMacFU]

My wife doesn't like that I do it, but she knows I'm not going to stop. She'll occasionally remind me of health implications, but I don't really care about those, I know about those. The only implications I care about are cigar today=no sex tonight.

Tell her that you're not going to stop and that though you appreciate her concern (if it's health orientated complaining) explain that you know full well the risks.

Now, if your smoking was done for the sake of escaping her and/or intimacy with her and increased a lot, then she may see it as you trying to distance yourself from her. In that case (that's not cool on your part, and I doubt this is why you did it consciously or sub-consciously), do what you've done, i.e. just decrease your intake.

But, if it's none of that and it's really just a health thing, tell her you love her and understand her concerns, but to pick her battles. Maybe you'll eat healthier if she cuts back on the complaining.

[Bkcloud114]

Good post Sean... you can tell which of the guys here are married:

My wife doesn't like that I do it, but she knows I'm not going to stop. She'll occasionally remind me of health implications, but I don't really care about those, I know about those. The only implications I care about are cigar today=no sex tonight.

Tell her that you're not going to stop and that though you appreciate her concern (if it's health orientated complaining) explain that you know full well the risks.

Now, if your smoking was done for the sake of escaping her and/or intimacy with her and increased a lot, then she may see it as you trying to distance yourself from her. In that case (that's not cool on your part, and I doubt this is why you did it consciously or sub-consciously), do what you've done, i.e. just decrease your intake.

But, if it's none of that and it's really just a health thing, tell her you love her and understand her concerns, but to pick her battles. Maybe you'll eat healthier if she cuts back on the complaining.

And which ones are not (or soon not to be):

Just tell her that the only reason you smoke is because it's your escape from her complaining. It's a vicious cycle. Maybe if she stops ... you'll stop.



Maybe.

Best thing you could do is sit down with her and try and find out what is really bothering her. One cigar a week shouldn't be causing that much complaining. She might be pissed off about something else. One of the things that I have figured out is that the complaining about one thing usually has nothing to do with what is really bothering them. Find out what is is she really doesn't like about it.

One rule I live by:

HAPPY WIFE = HAPPY LIFE

PS.... I know I haven't posted in a while. Good to be back... Smoking a Punch Rare Corojo while catching up on the BBs

[Diesel Grinch]

Good post Sean... you can tell which of the guys here are married:



And which ones are not (or soon not to be):



Best thing you could do is sit down with her and try and find out what is really bothering her. One cigar a week shouldn't be causing that much complaining. She might be pissed off about something else. One of the things that I have figured out is that the complaining about one thing usually has nothing to do with what is really bothering them. Find out what is is she really doesn't like about it.

One rule I live by:

HAPPY WIFE = HAPPY LIFE

PS.... I know I haven't posted in a while. Good to be back... Smoking a Punch Rare Corojo while catching up on the BBs

Who are you again?


As others have said sit down and have a long talk.


DG

[Mizicke5273]

Also if you smoked cigars before getting married, I would ask myself why is this coming up now. Why is it getting worse? What is the reason? If you did, maybe she thought going in she could change you, but now seeing that she cant, she is gripping more trying harder to get you to quite.

Now I dont know anything about your situation, just throwing this out there, so if its completely off, then disregard it.

But the best advice I can give, seeing as Im not married, is to communicate. Communication is the basis of all relationships. If there is no communication, it is not a healthy relationship.
Ask her why she is complaining more and why she dislikes it to begin with. Then tell her why you enjoy it so much. Everything begins from here.

[Kenyth]

Primarily, the smell is her complaint, and she doesn't find it attractive at all. I started with cigars while she was still smoking cigarrettes. I was a very light smoker and found cigs completely boring. I found the occasional cigar to be much more to my liking. She has since quit smoking, and tolerance has gone downhill since.

We are very busy and lacking intimacy lately, but that's more her fault than mine. She makes 90% of the social and activities schedule. She also wants intimacy to be under somewhat perfect conditions, and that just doesn't happen in real life with a preschooler. That's probably at the root of the problem I'm guessing. If that's where she wants a change, I'm certainly willing to accomodate, but she's going to have to make herself more available. I think knowing that causes her stress as well.

It's not like I use smoking to avoid her. I only smoke at times that don't interfere with any of our time together. For instance, I'll light up and have a beer while she's shopping and I'm staying home doing yard work after I'm done.

[chefchris]

But the best advice I can give, seeing as Im not married, is to communicate. Communication is the basis of all relationships. If there is no communication, it is not a healthy relationship.
Ask her why she is complaining more and why she dislikes it to begin with. Then tell her why you enjoy it so much. Everything begins from here.

Careful there, we don't know what we're talking about since we've never been in a committed relationship.

[guado]

My wife doesn't like that I do it, but she knows I'm not going to stop. She'll occasionally remind me of health implications, but I don't really care about those, I know about those. The only implications I care about are cigar today=no sex tonight.

Tell her that you're not going to stop and that though you appreciate her concern (if it's health orientated complaining) explain that you know full well the risks.

Now, if your smoking was done for the sake of escaping her and/or intimacy with her and increased a lot, then she may see it as you trying to distance yourself from her. In that case (that's not cool on your part, and I doubt this is why you did it consciously or sub-consciously), do what you've done, i.e. just decrease your intake.

But, if it's none of that and it's really just a health thing, tell her you love her and understand her concerns, but to pick her battles. Maybe you'll eat healthier if she cuts back on the complaining.

Wow...just what I was thinking and was hesitant on typing it out!

Good Job BigMAcFU

[kevin7]

Sucks to be some of you guys. Candy buys me cigars and humidors . She smokes a cigar with me on occasion