My wife and I have been together for 17 years. I used to smoke ciggarettes, 2 packs a day, which my wife really disliked......but she accepted that because she loved me. Did she nag me about it? Hell yes!! Did it cause me to quit......nope, and it really didn't cause any "huge" fights or nights on the couch. When I dropped the cigs and picked up the cigars......she was a-o.k. with that. I smoke only outside now, but I smoke one whenever I want to.

Much as you do Ken, I am responsible for all the outside maintenance, and my wife does the inside. Now, that being said, we also help each other with these tasks.........she cooks, I do the dishes........if I'm raking up leaves and she's not doing anything, she'll help me bag 'em up, etc..etc. Does she care if I'm smokin' a yard gar while I'm raking leaves? Not at all. Does she care if I take a break during my duties and smoke a cigar and have a beer? Nope. She knows it will get done, just maybe not on HER time-table.

Does she get pissed when I blast the shit out of the AMEX on cigar purchases? Hell yes she does......and she is within her rights to do so IF I have overstepped my agreed upon bounds. As others have said, compromise and respect are what it is all about. If those basic principles are followed, the normal changes that happen within every person and every relationship over time can be dealt with.......without it, the walls can become too high to scale. Open lines of open, honest, unrestrained communication will either promote the compromise and respect thing.............or not.