I'm sorry, I couldn't help but laugh when I saw that those elves even bothered including you on my list at all this year. At least they put you on the naughty list. However, I suppose as a good-faith gesture to a NATO ally I could stop by and drop off at least a few chunks of coal should I pass through the neighborhood.

So tell me, what kind of smokes do you prefer? Anything in particular you can filter out from the endless sea of evil thoughts going through your head? Not that you'll be getting anything, of course. I just like to build up peoples hopes before I crush them.