. . . I've been black-listed by the US Postal Service. They won't come to my house anymore. They have employed on two new bomb-sniffing dogs. They've notified me that any and everything addressed to me goes straight to quarantine until they can get it checked by the defusal squad. My front yard is a wreck, and it looks great compared to that last mail carrier.

Holy moly! Some sneaky bastard disguised as Santa, and claiming to live at the North Pole blasted the crap outta my porch - you know who you are!!!

I can hardly begin to say what a wonderful surprise that was - many, many thanks!