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Thread: And some Mathematics!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In a van, down by the river!
    Posts
    1,658

    Default And some Mathematics!

    > MALE MATH
    >
    > ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
    >
    > Smart man + smart woman = romance
    >
    > Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    >
    > Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    >
    > Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
    >
    __________________________________________________ _____
    >
    > OFFICE ARITHMETIC
    >
    > Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    >
    > Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    >
    > Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    >
    > Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
    >
    __________________________________________________ _____
    >
    > SHOPPING MATH
    >
    > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    >
    > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
    > need.
    >
    __________________________________________________ _____
    >
    > GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
    >
    > A woman worries about the future until she gets a
    > husband.
    >
    > A man never worries about the future until he gets a
    > wife.
    >
    > A successful man is one who makes more money than
    > his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who
    > can find such a man.
    >
    __________________________________________________ _____
    >
    > HAPPINESS
    >
    > To be happy with a man, you must understand him a
    > lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman,
    > you must love her a lot and not try to understand
    > her at all.
    >
    __________________________________________________ _____
    >
    > LONGEVITY
    >
    > Married men live longer than single men, but married
    > men are a lot more willing to die.
    >
    __________________________________________________ _____
    >
    > MEMORY
    >
    > Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's
    > no use in two people remembering the same thing.
    >
    __________________________________________________ _____
    >
    > APPEARANCE
    >
    > Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    >
    > Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
    >
    __________________________________________________ _____
    >
    > PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
    >
    > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
    > he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she
    > won't change, and she does.
    >
    __________________________________________________ _____
    >
    > DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
    >
    > A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything
    > a man says after that is the beginning of a new
    > argument.
    >
    __________________________________________________ _____
    >
    > COMPREHENSION
    >
    > There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a
    > woman
    >
    > - before marriage and after marriage.
    >
    __________________________________________________ _____
    >
    > HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING
    >
    > MARRIED:
    >
    > Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking
    > me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're
    > next." They stopped after I started doing the same
    > thing to them at funerals
    "smoking is one of the greatest and cheapest enjoyments in life,
    and if you decide in advance not to smoke, I can only feel sorry for you."-Sigmund Freud


    "The problem with the world is that we draw the circle of our family too small" - Mother Teresa

    “The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary man takes everything either as a blessing or a curse” – Carlos Casteneda

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Lisbon, Ohio, 44432
    Posts
    826

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