Quote Originally Posted by ashauler View Post
If you really think anyone here would give enough of a fuck about you to take the time to compromise your account information only to post another AD for your shit, well, .
LOL!

C'mon jerry, if I (or anyone else) was going to pretend they were you, I think the content would be everything but another ad for your overpriced, lousy coffee.

I'll take a shot at it:

Hi, Mr Jerry here! I've done some soul searching over the past few days and I've come to realize that I'm in some serious need of either heavy duty counseling or heavy duty meds. Once doctor says I'm bi-polar, another says I'm schizophrenic and the psychologists say I'm fine but I need to make three appointment with them for sessions that only make them rich. Then they say I'm paranoid! Can you believe these fucks? I swear, they're all out to get me, especially that CC86 guy and his band of homos. You all do know that homosexuality is a disease, don't you?

I think I'm finally going to give up trying to peddle overpriced, shitty coffee on cigar boards from now on. I've realized I have to clear my conscience and "come clean" so from now on, I will no longer be raping my fellow cigar smokers by selling bad coffee. It's unfortunate that a few of you bought my lies in the past about how "great" my coffee is because it's really pretty shitty. Besides that, every doctor will tell you coffee is bad for your health and you'll live a longer, healthier life if you stop drinking this shit.

I've thrown the remaining stock of Tazmanian Peabody and Pelosi Knockout into the dumpster and from this point on, I will no longer be posting coffee specials. Now that I think about it, that's the only reason I ever came here in the first place because I really don't give a rat's ass about any of you stupid fucks.

So bend over and kiss my old, hairy white-trash ass a big GOOD BYE, 'cause I'm outta here! You won't have mr jerry to kick around any more you mean-spirited, good for nothing losers. If any of you try to contact me, I will shoot you with my cap gun. Remember, I'm always packing heat so don't fuck with me.