here is a trick i use and have taught it to friends with alot of succes...

befor you fill your pipe, draw on it to get an idea on how it draws empty. loose fill and lightly tamp untill the resistance is about what it feels like to drink water through a straw. repeat untill the bowl is almost to the top. do your char light, let it go out and relight. do NOT use a torch lighter, they are way to hot and you will damage your pipe. matches, zippos and bic lighters are the perfered means to light.

btw, i used to use my fingers to tamp but you'll get a more even pack if you use a pipe tool to do it. do not worry about relights, as you gain experiance you'll get the hang of things. hey, the 1st time you had sex you didn't have your partner screaming in joy did you? you have to work at it a little and soon, everything will fall in place.