“Smoking cigars as an art form"

[daysiartpainter]

Sadly, I haven't been getting much smoking time lately...

I now occupy my days writing essays for the likes of Daisy. Here's something I quickly scribbled together last night, while I was counting sheep...

Reading this post won't be the easiest thing you've ever done, but it may be one of the most rewarding. Some background is in order: Daysiartpainter does not merely use threats of fiscal (not "physical") harm to coerce antisocial personæ non gratæ into nailing people to trees. She does so consciously, deliberately, willfully, and methodically. For the sake of concreteness, you may find it instructive to contrast the things I like with the things that she likes. I like listening to music. Daysiartpainter likes gumming up what were once great ideas. I like kittens and puppies. Daysiartpainter likes leading an active disinformation campaign. I like spending time with friends (that goes for you too, BigMac). Daysiartpainter likes threatening anyone who's bold enough to state that she has made it known that she fully intends to create a kind of psychic pain at the very root of the modern mind. If those words don't scare you, nothing will. If they are not a clear warning, I don't know what could be.

How I pity Daysiartpainter if I were to be her judge. I would start by notifying the jury that I should note that if Daysiartpainter had two brain cells to rub together, she'd realize that her criticisms promote a redistribution of wealth. This is always an appealing proposition for Daysiartpainter's deputies because much of the redistributed wealth will undoubtedly end up in the hands of the redistributors as a condign reward for their loyalty to Daysiartpainter. Daysiartpainter makes a living out of frotteurism. I call this tactic of hers "entrepreneurial frotteurism". Daysiartpainter and her partisans have indisputably raised entrepreneurial frotteurism to a fine art by using it to dismantle the family unit. Even if I were, as she seems to think I am, a brown-nosing kook, at least I know better than to rub salt into our wounds. In contrast, Daysiartpainter is extraordinarily brazen. We've all known that for a long time. However, her willingness to degrade, divide, and destroy our forum sets a new record for brazenness.

On a more pedestrian level, every so often, Daysiartpainter tries declaring that it's okay if her conclusions initially cause our quality of life to degrade because "sometime", "someone" will do "something" "somehow" to counteract that trend. Whenever she gets caught doing so she raises a terrific hullabaloo calculated to utilize legal, above-ground organizing in combination with illegal, underground tactics to anesthetize the human spirit. She has been trying to popularize the narrative that the health effects of secondhand smoke are not negligible. My fear is that if she's successful at promoting such cockamamy notions then even the man on the Clapham omnibus may agree to let her give voice, in a totally emotional and non-rational way, to her deep-rooted love of teetotalism. Now that you've read this pos, let me challenge you, the reader, not just to help me make Daysiartpainter's ridiculous publications understood, resisted, and made the object of deserved contempt by young and old alike, but also to educate others about what I've written.

Your strong accusations and your offenses will be send to the corresponding authorities.

Daysi

[heftysmokes]

Your strong accusations and your offenses will be send to the corresponding authorities.

Daysi

Look out, George. The interweb police will be knocking on your door.

[Mangyrat]

Your strong accusations and your offenses will be send to the corresponding authorities.

Daysi

What are you smoking besides cigars?

[ggiese]

Your strong accusations and your offenses will be send to the corresponding authorities.

Daysi

Daisy,

I think you misunderstood my post. Please - let me explain further...

In this post, I want to skip the usual preaching, moralizing, and pontificating and go straight to the facts. To address this in a pedantic manner, in the rest of this post, factual information will be prefaced as such and my own opinions will be clearly stated as opinions. For instance, it is a fact that Daysiartpainter thinks that she is a voice of probity. Of course, thinking so doesn't make it so.

Daysiartpainter's perversions deserve to be criticized because they exploit the masses. Again, Daysiartpainter says that she is cunctipotent. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools. Yes, she may be nothing more than a disposable tool of power-wielding, viperine yobbos but Daysiartpainter says that everyone would be a lot safer if she were to monitor all of our personal communications and financial transactions—even our library records. Why on Earth does Daysiartpainter need to monitor our library records? While that question may not be as profound as "What's the meaning of life?" or "Is there a God?", Daysiartpainter's criticisms of my posts have never successfully disproved a single fact I ever presented. Instead, her criticisms are based solely on her emotions and gut reactions. Well, I refuse to get caught up in Daysiartpainter's "I think … I believe … I feel" game.

Behold what a nice, thick, fat lie it is when Daysiartpainter denies ever having strived to blow the whole situation way out of proportion. Perhaps we're still a long way from being able to open minds instead of closing them, but remember that whenever she attempts to damage the self esteem and physical health of millions of young men and women, she looks around waiting for applause as if she's done something decent and moral rather than stupid and ghastly. She may make us less united, less moral, less sensitive, less engaged, and more perversely filthy right after she reads this post. Let her. Some day, I will tear down Daysiartpainter's fortress of isolationism.

Ancient Greek dramatists discerned a peculiar virtue in being tragic. Daysiartpainter would do well to realize that they never discerned any virtue in being brain-damaged. Still, she can't possibly believe that things have never been better. She's horny but she's not that horny. Nothing unites people like a common enemy. That's why I would encourage everybody to take some shots of their own at Daysiartpainter by reprimanding her for imposing a "glass ceiling" that limits our opportunities for promotions in most jobs. Mark my words: some people think it's a bit extreme of me to make this world a kinder, gentler place—a bit over the top, perhaps. Well, what I ought to remind such people is that mercantalism has served as the justification for the butchering, torture, and enslavement of more people than any other "ism". That's why it's Daysiartpainter's favorite; it makes it easy for her to irrationalize thinking on every issue.

What I find frightening is that some academics actually believe Daysiartpainter's line that everyone and everything discriminates against her—including the writing on the bathroom stalls. In this case, "academics" refers to a stratum of the residual intelligentsia surviving the recession of its demotic base, not to those seekers of truth who understand that Daysiartpainter's litanies are becoming increasingly inimical. They have already begun to make bigotry respectable. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Daysiartpainter to destroy all tradition, all morality, and the entire democratic system. If you don't want such a time to come then help me improve the lot of humankind. Help me prevent the Daysiartpainter-induced catastrophe I foresee and save our nation from its time of deepest humiliation and disgrace. In closing, please remember that my ultimate goal is to address the real issues faced by mankind. If I advance, follow me. If I stop, urge me on. If I retreat, kill me.

I hope that clears it up for you, Daisy.

[TachyCoventry]

snip... Again, Daysiartpainter says that she is cunctipotent...

Am I the only idiot who started laughing when they got to this? I had to look up what cunctipotent means and how it is pronounced. I think that I need to get my mind out of the gutter

[MrPlatypus]

Am I the only idiot who started laughing when they got to this? I had to look up what cunctipotent means and how it is pronounced. I think that I need to get my mind out of the gutter

You Daigz are now on a mission: use that in Scrabble!

[ggiese]

Where's Daisy???

[ggiese]

Hey Daisy - The "boy in blue" ("Corresponding Authority") was by the house, earlier. THANKFULLY I hit him with a coupla Scrabble words - he was very nice and let me off with a warning...

[ggiese]

...though I'd really prefer you send this "corresponding authority" over...

[ggiese]

You Daigz are now on a mission: use that in Scrabble!

[cinda]

OMG How cute is this! Oh GG I am counting the pennies in my coffee can now don't worry I will have you bonded out of the clink before you hear its delousing time!!!!!!!!

[Devil Doc]

Delousing would be the least of his worries.

Doc.

[cigarsarge]

Your strong accusations and your offenses will be send to the corresponding authorities.

Daysi

I want to be a corresponding authority when I grow up.

[ashauler]

I want to be a corresponding authority when I grow up.

Is that the guy that checks your postage or sumptin'?

[ggiese]

Is that the guy that checks your postage or sumptin'?

C'mon - Sheesh... That the "Correspondence Authority", not the "corresponding authority".

No - I'm fearful on this one. I believe CC86 is a "corresponding authority", and you know how he gets. I made a few spelling errors and I'm concerned I may indeed pay the price for my faux pas. Hopefully, though, Bill takes pity on me and understands I do concern myself with proper punctuation and grammar and overlooks my few spelling errors.

One of the things I do find fascinating, though - Daisy was willing to engage others when they really let her have it with some pretty pointed comments, yet no threat to take the matter to the "corresponding authority". I truly write nothing, and I'm hit with the corresponding authority threat.

I tell you - I can't win for losing!!!

[ashauler]

C'mon - Sheesh... That the "Correspondence Authority", not the "corresponding authority".

No - I'm fearful on this one. I believe CC86 is a "corresponding authority", and you know how he gets. I made a few spelling errors and I'm concerned I may indeed pay the price for my faux pas. Hopefully, though, Bill takes pity on me and understands I do concern myself with proper punctuation and grammar and overlooks my few spelling errors.

Shit, there I go again, mixing up my authorities.

[ndv21]

I can see it now:

[ggiese]

I'm going to attempt to restate my position in Spanish. Hopefully I can smooth over my transgressions with Daisy...

Lamentablemente, no he estado recibiendo últimamente mucho tiempo de ahumado...

Yo ahora ocupan mis días a escribir ensayos para los gustos de Daisy. Esto es algo que yo escribía rápidamente junto anoche, mientras yo estaba contando ovejas...

La lectura de este artículo no será la cosa más fácil que has hecho, pero puede ser una de las más gratificantes. Algunos de fondo está en orden: Daysiartpainter no se limita a recurrir a las amenazas del año fiscal (que no sean "físicos") para obligar a los daños antisociales personas no gratas en clavar la gente a los árboles. Ella lo hace conscientemente, deliberadamente, voluntariamente, y metódicamente. En aras de la concreción, puede que le resulte instructivo contrastar las cosas que me gustan las cosas que a ella le gusta. Me gusta escuchar música. Daysiartpainter gusta engomado hasta lo que alguna vez fueron grandes ideas. Me gusta gatitos y perritos. Daysiartpainter le gusta llevar una campaña de desinformación activa. Me gusta pasar tiempo con los amigos (eso va para ti también, BigMac). Daysiartpainter le gusta amenazar a cualquier persona que la osadía de afirmar que ella ha hecho saber que toda la intención de crear una especie de dolor psíquico en la raíz misma de la mente moderna. Si estas palabras no te asusta, nada lo hará. Si no son una clara advertencia, no sé lo que podría ser.

¿Cómo me da lástima Daysiartpainter si yo fuera a ser su juez. Me gustaría empezar por notificar el jurado que debe tener en cuenta que si Daysiartpainter tenía dos células del cerebro se rocen entre sí, se daría cuenta de que sus críticas promover una redistribución de la riqueza. Esta siempre es una propuesta atractiva para diputados Daysiartpainter se debe a que mucha de la riqueza, sin duda, redistribuido va a terminar en manos de los redistribuidores como recompensa por su lealtad condigno a Daysiartpainter. Daysiartpainter se gana la vida fuera de frotteurismo. Yo llamo a esto táctica de ella "frotteurismo empresarial". Daysiartpainter y sus partidarios han planteado indiscutiblemente frotteurismo empresarial en un arte, al usarla para desmantelar la unidad familiar. Incluso si lo fuera, como parece pensar que soy, un chiflado marrón curiosear, por lo menos sé mejor que echar sal a las heridas. Por el contrario, es extraordinariamente Daysiartpainter bronce. Todos hemos sabido que durante mucho tiempo. Sin embargo, su voluntad de degradar, dividir y destruir a nuestro foro establece un nuevo récord de descaro.

En un nivel más pedestre, de vez en cuando, Daysiartpainter intenta declarar que está bien si sus conclusiones inicialmente causan nuestra calidad de vida de degradar debido a que "alguna vez", "alguien" va a hacer "algo" de alguna manera "para contrarrestar esa tendencia. Cada vez que ella consigue hacer atrapado por lo que plantea una algarabía tremenda calculada para utilizar la organización jurídica, sobre el suelo en combinación con tácticas ilegales de metro para anestesiar el espíritu humano. Ella ha estado tratando de popularizar la narrativa que los efectos del humo de segunda mano no son desdeñables. Mi temor es que si ella es exitosa en la promoción de tales nociones cockamamy incluso entonces el hombre en el ómnibus de Clapham puede aceptar que le dan voz, de una manera totalmente emocionales y no racionales, a su amor profundamente arraigado de ser abstemio. Ahora que usted ha leído esto pos, deja que te reto, el lector, no sólo para ayudarme a hacer las publicaciones ridículo Daysiartpainter de entender, se resistió, y convertido en objeto de desprecio por los demás merece jóvenes y viejos por igual, sino también educar acerca de lo que que he escrito.

I sincerely hope that helps...

[buzz]

Perhaps this would help?

-Buzz

[badwhale]

Now we have self-deprecation:

-useless posts that do nothing to add to the conversation and are just a feeble attempt to jack up my post count (thanks, heftysmokes!)

and pouting:

I take umbrage I wasn't mention...pouts I think my post adds history, romance and the true podium for debate.

...if only there was some bedazzling, a relentless tool, and an epic douchenozzle in here....

wait...