MEGA Review Artsy Fartsy Contest!

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Artist #2

Artist Name: Mangyrat (aka Sammy the Sockman)

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Artist #3

Artist Name: Irish79 (aka Miss Reba)

The Birth of the Mega Review: One Young Man’s Journey of Self-Worth

There once was a certain young man named Reginald, but his parents called him Buzz. Actually, his parents were quite fond of telling him to “buzz off” and the youngster interpreted the phrase as containing his name. Anyway, Buzz has endured a most difficult life. First, he was of considerably shorter height than most people. Here’s a picture of him beside his parents Toyota Corolla, age unknown.

Suffice to say, his was a rough life. He couldn’t play with others his own age, so he didn’t have any friends. He had to use two hands to operate a computer mouse. On the plus size (for his parents) he mainly wore jumpers due to his size and didn’t consume much food, so he was sort of like having a small pet around. However, his cost benefit was countered by his peculiar habit of yelling “Submit!” in a German accent, usually drawing stares when around people. And due to a skin condition; he had to spend a certain number of hours each day under water. This life-saving necessity took away much of the enjoyment of typical experiences. How many of you have had to carve a miniature pumpkin underwater? Or even desired to? Buzz had to.

Buzz did not have an easy life. And his life was made all the more intolerably because he shared a first name with a great astronaut. How could he measure up to the Buzz? His greatest accomplishment to date was semi-successfully portraying two of the characters in a play adaptation of the Grimm Brothers “The Elves and the Shoemaker” at the local theatre company. One day, while he was relaxing by himself on the beach, watching the sunset, he spied a space shuttle and his heart sank.

He longed to do something great, but what could he do? And here was this constant reminder that he would never measure up to the greatest Buzz. With no self-esteem and a battle raging in his mind, he decided he couldn’t take it anymore.

As he was about to leap off the edge, a kind painter arrived and talked him down from the ledge. She was painting the colorful scenery and could see the beauty in everything, even Buzz. She talked and spooned him for hours. Being of Cuban heritage, she was smoking a cigar the entire time and drinking a cup of coffee, and the creamy aroma of the smoke seared to Buzz’s brain and he knew that he was destined to do something great in the cigar world. Upon departing, he vowed to name his first child after this kind stranger and asked for her name. Daysi was the was reply. Scurrying away Buzz thought to himself, “If I could only find myself a Daysi…”.
Things were looking up for Buzz. All because of the stranger’s kind words and actions. Unknown to him, he would soon rip off the Monster’s catch-phrase to incorporate into his own brand of cigar reviews, but for now, the birds were singing, the sun was bright and the scent of Daysi lingered in the air. As he would say in the future, blue skies were ahead.

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Artist #4

Artist Name: Eville (aka Dook)

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Artist #5

Artist Name: Tdre977 (aka M.H.L.S.K.R.P.)

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Artist #6

Artist Name: Daigz (aka Purple Pinky)

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Artist #7

Artist Name: ashauler (aka Juniper Lamb)

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Artist #8

Artist Name: MrPlatypus (aka X-Meister)