2013 Christmas writing contest

[ashauler]

Yep, it's back. Take a look at the link below and submit your entries in this thread. Have fun!!

The original inspiration:
http://www.cigarsmokers.com/threads/...SMOKER-s-STYLE!

1. Contest begins today.

2. Open to members in good standing. If you don't know if you're in good standing or not, enter anyway, someone will let you know.

3. You can submit as many entries as you want. Entries are to be posted in this thread.

4. Entry can be in the form of a poem, song, haiku, limerick, or just a short story, and can be serious or humorous. You can make your own lyrics to classic Christmas songs or whatever you want.

5. Entry must be themed around the Christmas season and cigarsmokers.com.

6. Deadlines are CST.

7. Winners will be chosen by Poll of the membership.

8. As the host, I won't be playing, but I reserve the right to litter the thread with sarcastic comments. Particularly witty and caustic comments will head towards all haiku's submitted.

Deadline to post your entry = Midnight CST, December 24, 2013.

Poll starts on Monday, December 30, 2013 and runs through Monday, January 6, 2014.

The winner will receive some very tasty smokes from the bottom left corner of my coolerdor.

Good luck!!

[badwhale]

The winner will receive some very tasty smokes from the bottom left corner of my coolerdor.

You told me that's where you keep your Ron Mexicos!

Thanks for the contest. I'll try an piece something together.

[ashauler]

Really, there isn't a single Ron Mexico anywhere in the cooler, I promise.
I can't believe that buzz hasn't submitted any haiku's yet.

[ggiese]

I started something earlier today - but got distracted. Damned work...

I'm glad to see this thread resurrected. Let's see some creativity!

[ashauler]

Lighters ping

below a smoke ring
At the herf
kingbeefy is dirty dancing
A secret delight
and bad dreams tonight
Christmas in cigarsmokers land

Over there, in the corner
covered in, body armour
Eville was wrong
Fordraptorfiend banged a gong
Christmas in cigarsmokers land!

[kingbeefy]

Lighters ping

below a smoke ring
At the herf
kingbeefy is dirty dancing
A secret delight
and bad dreams tonight
Christmas in cigarsmokers land

I am honored to make a cameo in your poetry.

I've been thinking about this, I'll go to the bathroom and get something down on paper later.

[ashauler]

I am honored to make a cameo in your poetry.

I've been thinking about this, I'll go to the bathroom and get something down on paper later.

I'm sure it'll be the most insightful thing you've written in decades.

[kingbeefy]

I'm sure it'll be the most insightful thing you've written in decades.

Well, you were correct. Please see the next post for some of my best work ever.

[kingbeefy]

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the internet
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mangy rat
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Beefy soon would be there

The newbies were nestled all snug in their bed
While visions of Black n Milds danced in their heads
Greek Titan in her ‘kerchief, badwhale in his cap
Had just settled down to spoon for a long sinner’s nap

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
BW sprang from GT’s warm clutch to see what was the matter
Away to the window he flew like a flash
Tore open the shutter and threw up the sash

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the objects below
When what to badwhale’s eyes should appear
But a Milli Vanilli themed sleigh, and eight tiny Blame it on the Reindeer

With a totally badass driver, so lean, so sexy
He knew in a moment it must be St. Beefy
In one hand a Pete Johnson taint rolled custom
His other hand holding his own petite Pete Johnson

Yelling swear words, bumping into trees
Pissing off the sleigh into the streets
Landing on the roof with a violent clunk
It was clear on this night St. Beef was drunk

After breaking wind in the chimney and burning his ass
He’s now safe inside and humping the cat
Throwing down milk and cookies, throwing up in the plants
He passes out on the gifts and shits his pants

For GT and BW it’s a Christmas wish come true
Something all cigar smokers dream of the whole year through
They hug each other and dance with glee
For kingbeefy is passed out drunk beneath their tree.

(drop the mic, bitches!)

Merry Christmas to all cigar smokers, and for two specific cigar smokers it will be a very good night!

[TheGreekTitan]

LMAO!

[badwhale]

LMAO!

So, whatcha doing for Christmas?

[slcraiders]

Thanks for the time machine tribute and the contest, Jamie. I love what I am seeing so far.


Christmas, Christmas, oh beautiful Christmas-
Fuck, is it already that time again ?

[badwhale]

Nice to see you, James!!! Merry Christmas!!!

[TheGreekTitan]

Read in the cadence of "'Twas the night before Christmas"

Merry
Christmas
to all and to all a
good night. While Buzz is
biking and ashaulers snarling,
Badwhale is writing, and Cinda is smiling.
Ggiese is thinking 'bout newbs selling smokes,
and CC is ready to give them a choke. Kevin is
nearby, about to pounce, and Beefy is drinking liquor,
ounce after ounce. Captain blues is hunting up north for
some food, while Mangy is working on his arsenal of doom.
Hefty is sitting by his fire and wife, while Roham is wondering, what's
the meaning of life? SLCRaiders just popped back in, while illilli is pondering never
leaving again. SAWB is cruising, and bowhunters snoozing. Sailor is cooking some food
that looks great. This poem's almost finished, I bet you can't wait. Craig is contemplating,
dman is fighting. What we should all be doing now is drinking and smoking.
Raise a glass, and have a drink.
Light up a smoke, but remember
and think. Smokers is, the
place for us all. Posts
and blogs, let's all have
a ball. Grab your
smoke, and grab
your light. Merry
Christmas to all
And to All a
Good Night!

[badwhale]

Nice Xmas tree!!!

[illilli]

Swisher Sweet;
Smoke Blows.
Fish or Meat;
Nose Knows.
Opus X;
Nice To Light.
Like Sex;
Not Tonight!

[ashauler]

Nice stuff!!

[cinda]

All very good stuff...and It's nice to be remembered ...

[ashauler]

Deadline is tonight at midnight CST......

[slcraiders]

Read in the cadence of "'Twas the night before Christmas"

Merry
Christmas
to all and to all a
good night. While Buzz is
biking and ashaulers snarling,
Badwhale is writing, and Cinda is smiling.
Ggiese is thinking 'bout newbs selling smokes,
and CC is ready to give them a choke. Kevin is
nearby, about to pounce, and Beefy is drinking liquor,
ounce after ounce. Captain blues is hunting up north for
some food, while Mangy is working on his arsenal of doom.
Hefty is sitting by his fire and wife, while Roham is wondering, what's
the meaning of life? SLCRaiders just popped back in, while illilli is pondering never
leaving again. SAWB is cruising, and bowhunters snoozing. Sailor is cooking some food
that looks great. This poem's almost finished, I bet you can't wait. Craig is contemplating,
dman is fighting. What we should all be doing now is drinking and smoking.
Raise a glass, and have a drink.
Light up a smoke, but remember
and think. Smokers is, the
place for us all. Posts
and blogs, let's all have
a ball. Grab your
smoke, and grab
your light. Merry
Christmas to all
And to All a
Good Night!

Dulce- creative to the core!