Some Smart Ass White Boy made my list?!?

[S.A.W.B.]

Well I'm a fat bastard like you now after eating all that. Only my belt buckle doesn't point down like yours does. You may want to consider pulling the slay this year Santa. Your going to need to fire you list making elf's also. There's no way in hell I was supposed to be on that list but I am so here it is I like my smokes strong and large. 6X60 is my go to everyday smoke but there's spot for any dog rockets you sling down the chimney. I like my beverage dark and I drink it neat. I got to warn you if my kids catch you sneaking around the house trying to climb your fat ass in and out of my chimney they're going to blast a few of them reindeer. So you may want to put dancer out front. O-yeah I've been looking for one of those mistletoe belts. The wife refuses to buy me one. If you have a extra that would be great.

Thanks Santa

[S.A.W.B.]

Wow Santa your package came in today. Couldn't wait for x-mas to open it and man I sure am glad I
didn't. What a package thanks a lot. This just made my week. And the mistletoe belt buckle is just awesome. I promis I will cherish it for life. Thanks again and hope you have a wonderfull Holliday.

[Secret Santa]

Oh great, my elves must have made yet another mistake, sounds like you got the wrong package. Just put everything back in the box and leave it by the chimney. I'll come back tomorrow night to pick it up and leave you the 3 dried owl pellets and the half-used bottle of doe urine.

Ho ho ho!