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Thread: 911 calls......

  1. #1
    bigpoppapuff Guest

    Default 911 calls......

    Real 911 Calls, "BELIEVE" it or not!!


    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
    Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
    Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
    Dispatcher: Excuse me?
    Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table
    and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
    Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
    Caller:! No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!



    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
    Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
    Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
    Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
    Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.


    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions! are only two minutes apart
    Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
    Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

    And the winner is..........

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 < BR>Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
    Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
    Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
    Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
    Caller: No
    Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
    Caller: Running from the Police.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    lunatic fringe
    Posts
    2,486

    Default

    btw, there's a humor category for these posts. funny - I like the "here's your 'I'm Stupid' signs" ones too.
    Equality is not seeing different things equally. It's seeing different things differently.
    - Tom Robbins

    - Like I needed you to tell me I'm a fucking prick . . . Did you think you're posting some front page news? I am a fucking prick . . . - MarineOne

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Franklin, Wisconsin 53132
    Posts
    680

    Default

    those last two where hilarious















    can't freakin spell
    Remember to breathe

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    San Antonio TX
    Posts
    572

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bigpoppapuff
    Real 911 Calls, "BELIEVE" it or not!!


    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
    Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
    Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
    Dispatcher: Excuse me?
    Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table
    and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
    Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
    Caller:! No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!




    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
    Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
    Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
    Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
    Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.


    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions! are only two minutes apart
    Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
    Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

    And the winner is..........

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 < BR>Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
    Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
    Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
    Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
    Caller: No
    Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
    Caller: Running from the Police.
    All funny but that one is my favorite.

    Raisins: + 12 1/2
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