After a long day in town, I came home this evening with a lot on my mind, and I needed to do something to unwind and process all of the information in my head.

My wife and I went into Billings this morning to put an offer on our dream house. We looked at it this past weekend and again yesterday to be sure, but we both "just knew" that it was the house. So we went to talk to our agent and BOOM...an offer was made yesterday and just like that, our dream house was gone.

After a quick lunch spent crying on my Reuben, it was off to the Dr. to confirm what we were already pretty sure about....BOOM, Hefty baby Number 2 is due right around the first week of December.

We pulled into the driveway and I knew I couldn't go in the house to finish packing; I had to get some fresh air. The huge letdown followed shortly thereafter by the sheer joy was almost too much for my heart. I called out to the wife I was going to take a walk to the mailbox...it was a beautiful cool spring evening, the sun was setting, and the air was fresh and crisp. Besides, a quick 2 mile walk was just what the Doctor ordered.

I took off up the road and after 5 minutes realized that I needed a jacket. No worries, I told myself, you'll warm up if you speed up. I quickened the pace and just like that, I did begin to feel warmer.....wait a minute, my body wasn't heating up, it was the air around me. As I rounded the wooded corner and saw my mailbox in sight, my face was hit with a furnace blast of hot putrid air. Was there a dead animal in the meadow? What was going on here? The hair on the back of my neck stood at attention, urging me to turn for home.

I fought the impulse down, shook my head to clear it of that crazy feeling and got to my mailbox.

Then I heard it. A growling, tearing sound came from the underbrush beside the road, and I knew my time had come. I turned to run, dropping a stack of bills, the newspaper, and an innocent looking package I hadn't even noticed until I fell to the ground under the weight of the hounds of Hell. I felt the burning fangs tear into the meat of my calf, my left hand was ripped from my arm and I lay bleeding in the gravel, when I understood...death comes via Priority Mail.