a letter to ggeise's wife...

bigpoppapuff · 09-04-2006, 01:45 PM

Letter from the Manager at Wal-mart.........

Dear Mrs. geise,

Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping
with us again unless your husband george stops his antics while you are
shopping. Below is a list of offenses over the past few months, all
verified by our surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
ladies' restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
tone, "Code 3 in housewares".....and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the service desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's
on lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted
area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'd bring pillows from the
bedding department.

8. September 23: When our clerks ask whether they can help him, he
begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera, used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked
the clerk if he knew where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department practiced his "Madonna look"
using different sized funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, he
assumes the fetal position and screams, "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!!"

And last but not least:
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, and waited
a while; then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

**ggiese** · 09-04-2006, 04:09 PM

Yeah, I did that - I admit it... SO!!!!

..."Honey - can we go to K-Mart?"

**CgarDan** · 09-04-2006, 04:26 PM

LMAO

**nhcigarfan** · 09-04-2006, 05:32 PM

Originally Posted by bigpoppapuff

Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

I think I going to do this one.

**ukyfan** · 09-04-2006, 09:19 PM

Originally Posted by bigpoppapuff

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

I have been doing that one for years. You should have seen my wife's face when we were at Value City Furniture. I told her that I would be right back, and went and did that to like 10 clocks they had in another aisle. I came back just in time to hear them start to go off. The look on her face was priceless!