This came up in the cigar shop the other day, and lots of guys had different opinions. Of course, they were all wrong, so i wanted to share the right way.

First, you get your bun and spread it (no jokes here please). Then put in your hot dog/franfurter/wiener or whatever the hell you call it where you live. Do NOT put anything between hot dog and bun.

Next, put on your condiments. By condiments, I mean mustard. Maybe ketchup too, that;s within the realm of good taste, but for the love of god, do not put mayo on a hot dog. If you do you must be from France....or Belgium maybe.

Finally, you put on your toppings. Cheese, chili, peppers, relish and pickles are all withing the limits of human decency. If you put other crap on there - I've seen such monstrosities as peanut butter, tofu and bean sprouts adorning a hot dog on there - don't do it in Texas or we will get a rope. Count on it. One more acceptable topping is salsa, but that's a Texas thing I don't expect you to understand if you're not from God's gift to the world.

So now that you know how to build a hot dog, your life will be more satisfying in every way. I am more than happy to have shared this vital information, now you can go share it with your life coach so they can spread the glory.