Wife is really griping about smoking.

**JFellows** · 07-08-2008, 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by Kenyth

All right, I'm not exactly a big smoker these days. As a matter of fact, I'm lucky to get in more than one a week. The thing is, my wife is REALLY starting to gripe when I smoke a cigar. It's getting where she gripes if I'm smoking outside, in the garage, out with friends, whatever. Generally I ignore it, but I'm starting to get a little perturbed since noticing the big increase in griping. I suspect she's trying her best to irritate me out of the hobby with the constant stress. She did freely admit she'd really prefer I didn't smoke cigars at all.

Anyone ever experience this?

You should just donate all your cigars to me. Your wife will be pleased that you gave up the hobby and I will be happy with a full humidor. Everyone wins!

Except for you, I guess.

**bigwhiteash** · 07-08-2008, 03:59 PM

Explain to her that one or two cigars a week keeps you from completely flipping out and going "hunting for sport"!

Seriously, if that small refuge and enjoyment that you get bothers her that much.. it's time for a serious talk. I'm sure you could take the low road, and find something that she does that either costs money, or annoys the piss out of YOU!

**chefchris** · 07-08-2008, 04:16 PM

Just tell her that the only reason you smoke is because it's your escape from her complaining. It's a vicious cycle. Maybe if she stops ... you'll stop.

Maybe.

**heftysmokes** · 07-08-2008, 04:23 PM

Smoke 2-3 per day for the next week. Then ask her if she liked it better when you used to smoke 1 a week. Maybe she'll see that her bitching was a little on the excessive side...or maybe she'll see a divorce lawyer.

Good luck.

**cinda** · 07-08-2008, 04:31 PM

Every person has a reason for nagging...smiles so what is her reasoning for not wanting you to smoke, money smell your health? When you come in from the garage smelling like a pardon 1926 maduro what would be her rant?

**DeeDubya** · 07-08-2008, 04:41 PM

Wow. That makes me feel lucky. We have some of our best chats while sitting on the back deck "while I smoke a stog". She even likes the smell of some of them.

**BigMacFU** · 07-08-2008, 07:17 PM

My wife doesn't like that I do it, but she knows I'm not going to stop. She'll occasionally remind me of health implications, but I don't really care about those, I know about those. The only implications I care about are cigar today=no sex tonight.

Tell her that you're not going to stop and that though you appreciate her concern (if it's health orientated complaining) explain that you know full well the risks.

Now, if your smoking was done for the sake of escaping her and/or intimacy with her and increased a lot, then she may see it as you trying to distance yourself from her. In that case (that's not cool on your part, and I doubt this is why you did it consciously or sub-consciously), do what you've done, i.e. just decrease your intake.

But, if it's none of that and it's really just a health thing, tell her you love her and understand her concerns, but to pick her battles. Maybe you'll eat healthier if she cuts back on the complaining.

**Bkcloud114** · 07-08-2008, 10:08 PM

Good post Sean... you can tell which of the guys here are married:

Originally Posted by BigMacFU

My wife doesn't like that I do it, but she knows I'm not going to stop. She'll occasionally remind me of health implications, but I don't really care about those, I know about those. The only implications I care about are cigar today=no sex tonight.

Tell her that you're not going to stop and that though you appreciate her concern (if it's health orientated complaining) explain that you know full well the risks.

Now, if your smoking was done for the sake of escaping her and/or intimacy with her and increased a lot, then she may see it as you trying to distance yourself from her. In that case (that's not cool on your part, and I doubt this is why you did it consciously or sub-consciously), do what you've done, i.e. just decrease your intake.

But, if it's none of that and it's really just a health thing, tell her you love her and understand her concerns, but to pick her battles. Maybe you'll eat healthier if she cuts back on the complaining.

And which ones are not (or soon not to be):

Originally Posted by chefchris

Just tell her that the only reason you smoke is because it's your escape from her complaining. It's a vicious cycle. Maybe if she stops ... you'll stop.

Maybe.

Best thing you could do is sit down with her and try and find out what is really bothering her. One cigar a week shouldn't be causing that much complaining. She might be pissed off about something else. One of the things that I have figured out is that the complaining about one thing usually has nothing to do with what is really bothering them. Find out what is is she really doesn't like about it.

One rule I live by:

HAPPY WIFE = HAPPY LIFE

PS.... I know I haven't posted in a while. Good to be back... Smoking a Punch Rare Corojo while catching up on the BBs

**Diesel Grinch** · 07-09-2008, 07:00 AM

Originally Posted by Bkcloud114

Good post Sean... you can tell which of the guys here are married:

And which ones are not (or soon not to be):

Best thing you could do is sit down with her and try and find out what is really bothering her. One cigar a week shouldn't be causing that much complaining. She might be pissed off about something else. One of the things that I have figured out is that the complaining about one thing usually has nothing to do with what is really bothering them. Find out what is is she really doesn't like about it.

One rule I live by:

HAPPY WIFE = HAPPY LIFE

PS.... I know I haven't posted in a while. Good to be back... Smoking a Punch Rare Corojo while catching up on the BBs

Who are you again?

As others have said sit down and have a long talk.

DG

**guado** · 07-08-2008, 11:07 PM

Originally Posted by BigMacFU

My wife doesn't like that I do it, but she knows I'm not going to stop. She'll occasionally remind me of health implications, but I don't really care about those, I know about those. The only implications I care about are cigar today=no sex tonight.

Tell her that you're not going to stop and that though you appreciate her concern (if it's health orientated complaining) explain that you know full well the risks.

Now, if your smoking was done for the sake of escaping her and/or intimacy with her and increased a lot, then she may see it as you trying to distance yourself from her. In that case (that's not cool on your part, and I doubt this is why you did it consciously or sub-consciously), do what you've done, i.e. just decrease your intake.

But, if it's none of that and it's really just a health thing, tell her you love her and understand her concerns, but to pick her battles. Maybe you'll eat healthier if she cuts back on the complaining.

Wow...just what I was thinking and was hesitant on typing it out!

Good Job BigMAcFU